Skip to main content

First 164

How I used the 'Big Book' to recover: some personal experiences and views of one individual. This is not an official twelve-step fellowship website. I do not speak for any twelve-step fellowship. The material is shared for fun and for free. If it helps, great! If it doesn't, don't worry about it! My programme is a perpetual beta, so it changes with my experience. If you're on the mobile app, click the hamburger (≡) in the top right for pages and links.

Search This Blog

Plain Language!
Podcasts
ZOOM164
Step PDFs
All materials
Tapes
Talks
Big Book Day By Day
April, Poland!

Showing posts with the label People-pleasing

Posts

Upset and pleasing people

on May 05, 2025

Detachment Guilt People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Oh, Lighten Up!

on April 23, 2025

Amends Manipulation People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Gracious

on March 15, 2025

Flattery Humility Ingratiation Modesty People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Hiding to nothing

on February 15, 2025

Al-Anon Control People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Locus of value

on December 23, 2024

Hurt Insecurity Offence People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Doormat

on July 13, 2024

Al-Anon People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Masks, authenticity, people-pleasing, needs, and wants

on November 28, 2022

Authenticity People-pleasing Self (ego)

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

"I don't know who I am ..."

on July 12, 2022

Identity People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Putting others first or self first?

on June 30, 2022

Al-Anon Boundaries People-pleasing Self-abandonment Self-care Self-sacrifice Spiritual bypass

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

People-pleasing illuminated

on March 27, 2022

People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

People-pleasing. No.

on March 13, 2022

People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

People pleasing

on November 15, 2020

Al-Anon People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

People-pleaser or intelligent agent?

on January 21, 2015

Demands Intelligent agent People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Authenticity and kindness

on January 11, 2015

People-pleasing

+

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Key blog entries

Doing the Steps in Al-Anon
Emergency pack: triangle check-list + resentment-/fear-/guilt- & shame-busters
Good grief
How to get out of hell
I need to do the Steps in [insert fellowship]
Ideological resentment
Low-hanging fruit
Myth-busting 2.0
St Augustine's Prayer Book 'transgressions'
Step Ten for sticky situations
Victimhood, rage, and control

Internal links

Home
Traditions + Concepts
Meeting formats
Public Information materials
How I recovered + how to proceed
Translations
Step One and Beyond Daily Topics
Old Worksheets (up to 2020)
Keep On Tookin'!

External links

first164 meeting
WhatsApp groups to join
Forgiveness
Big Book Anon Workshop
God or Self
Realm of the Spirit
Spiritual Quotations
Sponsorship
Recovery Collections
Father Tom W in Berlin, 2025

Archive

2010 59
- January 5
- February 3
- March 3
- April 8
- May 6
- June 7
- July 4
- August 3
- September 1
- October 4
- November 4
- December 11

2011 69
- January 12
- February 4
- March 3
- April 7
- May 4
- June 14
- July 3
- August 6
- September 4
- October 4
- November 2
- December 6
2012 53
- January 1
- February 3
- April 7
- May 2
- June 3
- July 4
- August 4
- September 2
- October 4
- November 12
- December 11
2013 65
- January 4
- February 9
- March 10
- April 6
- May 9
- June 13
- July 3
- August 2
- September 4
- November 3
- December 2
2014 79
- January 4
- February 1
- March 5
- May 9
- June 6
- July 10
- August 14
- September 4
- October 7
- November 11
- December 8
2015 98
- January 14
- February 6
- March 1
- April 14
- May 6
- June 7
- July 14
- August 16
- September 9
- October 4
- November 4
- December 3
2016 102
- January 8
- February 6
- March 3
- May 10
- June 1
- July 13
- August 18
- September 10
- October 15
- November 8
- December 10
2017 127
- January 4
- February 6
- March 18
- April 17
- May 4
- June 5
- July 7
- August 15
- September 6
- October 5
- November 14
- December 26
2018 152
- January 21
- February 15
- March 16
- April 6
- May 2
- June 18
- July 28
- August 8
- September 6
- October 12
- November 17
- December 3
2019 97
- January 1
- February 9
- March 3
- April 5
- May 7
- June 17
- July 7
- August 8
- September 8
- October 9
- November 9
- December 14
2020 126
- January 5
- February 7
- March 5
- April 8
- May 12
- June 19
- July 7
- August 2
- September 13
- October 7
- November 30
- December 11
2021 355
- January 8
- February 18
- March 32
- April 27
- May 38
- June 35
- July 28
- August 38
- September 25
- October 40
- November 43
- December 23
2022 590
- January 19
- February 44
- March 72
- April 69
- May 65
- June 62
- July 59
- August 39
- September 74
- October 43
- November 9
- December 35
2023 396
- January 28
- February 29
- March 25
- April 32
- May 38
- June 57
- July 29
- August 21
- September 20
- October 41
- November 33
- December 43
2024 446
- January 33
- February 45
- March 26
- April 31
- May 45
- June 18
- July 36
- August 31
- September 33
- October 36
- November 47
- December 65
2025 793
- January 55
- February 56
- March 63
- April 63
- May 81
- June 73
- July 73
- August 70
- September 64
- October 63
- November 67
- December 65
2026 193

Show more Show less

Labels

AA history2 Abandonment1 Abstinence7 Acceptance57 Acting out10 Action79 Addiction9 Adversity1 Advice16 Agitated1

Agnosticism7 Agreement2 Al-Anon375 Al-Anon slips2 Al-Anonism2 Alcohol2 Alcoholism26 Altruism2 Ambition7 Amends15 Anger25 Anniversaries2 Anonymity10 Anxiety15 Any lengths4 Apologies2 Apology3 Appearances1 Area / District / Region3 Argument4 Armed services liaison1 Arrogance10 Assets1 Atheism12 Attachment3 Attack5 Attention-seeking2 Attitude5 Authenticity4 Authority2 Autonomy9 Avocation1 Balance4 Ballots1 Basic suggestions6 Bedevilments4 Behaviour9 Being wrong6 Belief6 Beliefs7 Big Book35 Bill Wilson2 Bill's Story1 Bitterness1 Black-and-white thinking1 Blackouts1 Blame28 Blessings2 Boredom1 Boundaries51 Brainstorm2 BS-busting3 Business meetings18 Cabbages1 Candour5 Caretaking1 Causes and Conditions4 Certain Type of Hard Drinker4 Certainty1 Chairing7 Change73 Character3 Character assets3 Character defects47 Charity1 Cheerfulness2 Chemistry1 Child of God1 Childhood2 Childishness1 Children1 Choice13 Clarity1 Codependency13 Cognitive biases1 Cognitive distortions6 Comfort1 Commitment11 Committees1 Common sense3 Communication9 Community2 Comparison1 Compassion6 Complacency2 Complaining9 Completion2 Compliance6 Compulsion6 Concept I12 Concept II10 Concept III20 Concept IV9 Concept IX11 Concept V14 Concept VI11 Concept VII7 Concept VIII6 Concept X13 Concept XI12 Concept XII23 Conception of God1 Condemnation3 Conference6 Conference Charter1 Conference Delegates2 Conference-Approved Literature1 Confession3 Confidence1 Conflict17 Confusion2 Connection4 Consciousness5 Consequences2 Consideration4 Consistency2 Consultation6 Consumption1 Control37 Controversy2 Conventions and conferences3 Cooperation1 Corrective measures26 Courage8 Courtesy2 Craziness2 Credit1 Creditors1 Crises9 Criticism14 Current affairs1 Current Agnosticism1 Daily plan6 Daily programme25 Darkness5 Death Threats12 Debate4 Decisions46 Defence5 Delusion23 Demands44 Democracy1 Denial2 Depression17 Design for living1 Desire2 Despair14 Detachment82 Detox2 Difficulties4 Diligence8 Directions7 Disagreement1 Disappointment1 Discernment2 Discipline6 Discontent3 Discretion4 Discussion5 Disease6 Dishonesty3 Disillusionment1 Disruption1 Disturbance9 Doctor's Opinion2 Domination1 Doubtful1 Dr Bob1 Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers1 Drama10 Dreams1 Drinking9 Drugs2 Duties3 Early AA1 Early days3 Effect1 Efficiency1 Effort7 Ego1 Electronic media2 Emergency measures9 Emmet Fox3 Emotional sobriety6 Emotions96 Empathy1 Empowerment1 Enabling3 Encouragement1 Enjoyment4 Entanglement1 Enthusiasm5 Equanimity4 Error4 Etiquette2 Events2 Everyday life2 Evil2 Example1 Excitement1 Expectations8 Experience3 Explanation4 Extrapolation1 Extremism1 Facts1 Failure1 Faith19 False idols7 Family3 Family Afterward6 Fatality3 Fault1 Fear90 Fear inventory3 Fearlessness1 Feelings2 Fellowship20 First Things First10 Fit Spiritual Condition10 Flattery1 Flexibility1 Flyers3 Focus3 Food Addiction8 Foolishness1 Forethought1 Forewords8 Forgiveness38 Four Ms1 Fourth dimension7 Freedom11 Friendship1 Frustration1 Full measures1 Fun4 Fundamentalism2 Futility3 Future11 GA1 Gambling Addiction5 Games1 Gaslighting2 Generalisation3 Ghosting1 Gift1 Giving9 God150 God-communication3 God-consciousness9 God-directedness4 God-reliance223 God's business12 God's providence2 God's will74 Goodness1 Gossip2 Grace9 Gratitude21 Greed1 Grief6 Grievance9 Grouch1 Group conscience27 Group inventory2 Groups23 Growing up2 Growth5 GSR5 Guilt27 Half measures4 Hammer Man1 Happiness31 Harassment3 Hard times3 Harm6 Harmony2 Harry M. Tiebout1 Hatred1 Healing1 Hebrew6 Hedonism1 Hell1 Helping14 Hermit (being a)1 Higher Power30 Hobbies1 Home group21 Honesty28 Hope13 Humility64 Hurt10 Ideals7 Identification4 Identity24 Illusions2 Imagination1 Immaturity4 Immorality3 Imperfection3 Impulse3 Impulse-control1 Inaction1 Inadequacy1 Incurability3 Independence2 Individualism1 Individuality1 Indwelling God2 Infantilisation1 Informal fallacies1 Ingratiation1 Innocence2 Insanity11 Insecurity4 Inside job5 Inspiration6 Instructions3 Intelligence6 Intelligent agent3 Intentions3 Interference11 Intergroup7 Interpretation4 Intimacy10 Intoxication1 Intrusion1 Intuition5 Inventory16 Irony1 Irritable3 Isolation1 JA1 Jaywalker1 Jealousy4 Jim's Story1 Joy14 Judgement20 Jung1 Just For Today card1 Keep It Simple17 Kindness6 Knowledge3 Language15 Language of the Big Book8 Last word1 Laurels1 Leadership3 Learning4 Leaving others alone1 Leaving recovery1 Lessons1 Let Go And Let God7 Let It Begin With Me32 Letting go25 Letting go of old ideas21 Lifelong conceptions1 Light4 Listening5 Live And Let Live2 Living in the triangle1 Logic3 Logical fallacies1 London1 Loneliness2 Long-term sobriety9 Loss2 Love31 Love Addiction8 Management6 Manipulation20 Marriage1 Martyrdom2 Materialism34 Maturity4 Maximum service11 Meaning1 Medical problems2 Meditation44 Meeting formats2 Meetings61 Memory1 Mental Obsession53 Metaphysics4 Method3 Mind control1 Minding My Own Business4 Miracles5 Misery5 Mistakes1 Mistrust1 Moderate drinkers1 Modesty1 Money4 Mood2 Moral aspect4 Moralism1 Morality10 Morbidity1 More About Alcoholism2 Mortality3 Mothering4 Motivation2 Motivation / motives9 Multiple fellowships8 Musts1 My business2 Myths2 Narcissism1 Narratives2 Needs2 Negativity18 Neutrality3 Newcomers16 News1 Nicotine1 Nihilism1 Now10 OA1 Obedience1 Obligations2 Obsession4 ODAT124 Offence9 One Day At A Time14 Online forums1 Open-mindedness9 Openness2 Opinions2 Optimism1 Other people1 Outer world1 Outlining1 Outsourcing1 Pain25 Paranoia3 Past21 Patience17 Pausing11 Peace26 People-pleasing14 People-reliance8 Perception18 Perfection4 Perfectionism4 Persistence6 Personalisation2 Perspective15 Pharisees1 Physical Craving28 Physical health3 Pills1 Pity5 Plain Language Big Book2 Planning13 Playing God7 Poise1 Politics1 Positivity5 Potential Alcoholic1 Power18 Powerlessness64 Practicality3 Practice2 Prayer62 Preamble1 Preface4 Preferences2 Prejudice1 Preparedness1 Present12 Pride18 Primary Purpose7 Principles2 Priorities4 Problem-Solving17 Problems92 Problems Other Than Alcohol6 Programme1 Progress9 Progression4 Projection7 Promises6 Prudence1 Psychic change3 Psychological aspect3 Public information7 Purpose16 Quarantining3 Quarterly review2 Questions8 Quotations1 Rationalisation3 Rationality2 Reaction3 Reactivity7 Reading5 Ready2 Real Alcoholic4 Realism1 Reality44 Realm of the material14 Realm of the spirit19 Reason13 Receiving1 Recordings1 Recovered vs recovering1 Recovery21 Redemption1 Relapse73 Relationship with God1 Relationships76 Relief4 Religion8 Remorse4 Removal of character defects3 Requests2 Rescuing1 Resentment97 Reservations1 Resistance29 Resolutions5 Respect2 Respond Not Reacting2 Response3 Responsibility101 Restless3 Restraint2 Results4 Reworking the Twelve Steps19 Right action1 Right of Appeal1 Right of Decision1 Right of Petition1 Rigour1 Rising above the problem3 Risk1 Rock-bottom9 Romance1 Romance Addiction16 Rudeness1 Rule 621 Rules3 S-Anon4 SA5 Sabotage3 Sacred cows1 Safeguarding2 Safety2 Salvation2 Sane and Sound Ideal2 Sanity10 Sarcasm1 Satire1 Satisfaction1 Scepticism1 Second surrender20 Secrets2 Self (ego)140 Self-abandonment48 Self-absorption8 Self-care3 Self-centredness15 Self-confidence2 Self-control3 Self-deception3 Self-esteem30 Self-examination1 Self-forgetting12 Self-imposed crisis1 Self-justification10 Self-obsession13 Self-pity7 Self-regulation2 Self-reliance43 Self-righteousness5 Self-sacrifice5 Self-sufficiency2 Self-will34 Selfish programme3 Selfishness21 Sensitivity2 Separation from God6 Serenity4 Serenity Prayer10 Service71 Service meetings2 SETA 2024 Traditions in Relationships Q&A12 Setting aside1 Sex8 Sex Addiction20 Shame12 Sharing66 Shortcuts1 Silence5 Simplicity31 Sincerity1 Singlemindedness1 Singleness of purpose1 Slavery1 Sleep1 Slogans7 Slovak1 Sobering up2 Sobriety18 Society2 Solution14 Solutions84 Sordid places1 Speakers1 Speaking4 Special interest groups2 Speculation2 Speed2 Spirit1 Spiritual awakening43 Spiritual basis7 Spiritual bypass5 Spiritual disease1 Spiritual experience1 Spiritual malady18 Spiritual pride3 Spiritual principles18 Spiritual solution17 Spirituality31 Sponsorship162 Stability1 Staying close to God6 Staying sober2 Step buddies1 Step Eight28 Step Eleven (during the day)3 Step Eleven (general)2 Step Eleven (morning)49 Step Eleven (night)34 Step Five15 Step Four46 Step Four: Page 67 questions7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory16 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Bridge Passage7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: First Column4 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Second Column7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Third Column15 Step Nine35 Step One130 Step One (Al-Anon)17 Step One (insanity)34 Step Seven59 Step Six45 Step Ten55 Step Three69 Step Three Idea13 Step Three Requirement15 Step Twelve10 Step Twelve (all our affairs)46 Step Twelve (carrying the message)83 Step Twelve (service)4 Step Two52 Step Two Proposition3 Step XII1 Step Zero5 Stoicism1 Stopping drinking7 Stories3 Straightforwardness1 Strength1 Stress2 Structure of the fellowship1 Study2 Sub-committee3 Success12 Suffering18 Suggestions14 Suicide1 Surrender137 Sympathy2 Tact2 Take It Easy2 Talking11 Teachability1 Teaching1 Teamaking1 Therapy2 There Is A Solution5 Thinking155 Thirteenth Step1 Thoroughly5 Three Legacies1 Three-fold1 Time3 Tips4 Tiredness1 To Wives3 Tolerance23 Toxicity2 Tradition I28 Tradition II25 Tradition III11 Tradition IV28 Tradition IX22 Tradition V22 Tradition VI12 Tradition VII18 Tradition VIII7 Tradition X23 Tradition XI16 Tradition XII18 Treasury1 Triggers3 Troubles13 True from the false (cannot differentiate)1 Trust44 Truth25 Trying1 Turning over12 Twelve Concepts13 Twelve Step Fellowships4 Twelve Steps43 Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions6 Twelve Traditions12 Two-fold2 Two-Stepping1 Tyranny1 Uncertainty1 Uncommon sense2 Understanding1 Unhappiness43 Unity9 Unmanageability36 Untreated alcoholism2 Upset38 Urgency2 Usefulness9 Validation3 Values14 Vanity1 Victimhood63 Vigilance1 Vision1 Voting1 Vulnerability2 Waiting1 Wanting14 Wanting to stop2 Warranty IV3 Warranty V1 Warranty VI1 We Agnostics6 Wholeness1 Willingness64 Willpower2 Withdrawal5 Work14 Workaholism2 Working the Steps14 Workshop packs4 World (the)7 Worry24 Worship1 Young people and AA1 Zeal3 עברית7 ענווה1

Show more Show less

First 164

Powered by Blogger

Theme images by merrymoonmary