Monday, 31 October 2016

Stubborn resentment

Do you have a stubborn resentment? Write out the first three columns of a resentment inventory, and then ask these questions, which are derived from pages 66 to 67 of the book ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’.

Have I concluded that someone else is wrong or something is not the way it should be?
Have I become stuck on that conclusion and cannot get past it?
Have I fought to have my own way?
Did matters get worse?
Did seeming victories turn out to be defeats?
Were my moments of triumph short-lived?
Has this resentment led to futility and unhappiness?
Have I been squandering the hours that might have been worthwhile?
Is my hope the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience?
Can I see how this resentment could be fatal?
Have I been giving safe harbour to these feelings?
Is this resentment cutting me of from the sunlight of the spirit?
Is the insanity of alcohol returning?
Do I have to be free of anger?
Can I see how this person or situation is dominating me?
Do I want to escape?
Do I want to master this resentment?
Can I see that others are spiritually sick?

Then:

Ask God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
Say: ‘This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. They will be done.’
Avoid retaliation or argument.
Ask God to show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view.

Pray this consistently, then write the fourth column (based on the questions in the second full paragraph on page 67).

How many ways are there to work the steps? Are worksheets OK?

A friend of mine was talking to someone recently who claimed that unless one is working the steps precisely as they are laid out in the Big Book, one cannot get well.

Firstly, the AA Big Book itself does not say that we have a monopoly on recovery, merely that we have something that works for us.

Secondly, I would agree with the chap in question in that nothing worked for me but what is in the Big Book, and the closer my programme has come to what is in the Big Book, the better the results have been.

What is also true, however, is that the Big Book is, contrary to what Dr Bob supposedly said, open to interpretation. To take the simplest of examples: in the fear inventory, we are asked to ask ourselves the question of why we had our fears. Clearly, this could be answered in a multitude of ways: the actions we have taken in the past that have placed us in a vulnerable position, the consequences of the feared event, which are the real reason we are frightened, more abstractly the various ways we have relied on self rather than God, or the ideas and attitudes that were instilled in us as children and that have coloured our thinking ever since. This is just one of many points in the Book where the same instruction, in the absence of further clarification, could be taken in very different ways. If you ask a dozen people who claim to work the Steps exactly as they are laid out in the Big Book, you will discover a dozen different approaches, with quite major differences in interpretation all the way through, even without the individuals in question deviating from the plain meaning of the text itself.

It’s also sometimes asserted that worksheets should never be used, because the Book is enough. This view is usually peddled, however, by people who were taken through the Book by a sponsor who showed them exactly how to follow the instructions and gave them particular interpretations or understandings of particular passages. These instructions, interpretations, and understandings they themselves usually pass on to other people.

The Big Book was written in principle to enable people to take the Steps without instruction or assistance. I’ve never met anyone who took the Steps without instruction or assistance, however, nor anyone that suggests that instruction and assistance from a sponsor are not necessary.

What does a sponsor do? Say words. What do worksheets do? Say words. Worksheets are valid only to the extent that they set out what a sponsor sponsoring someone using the Big Book would say when taking someone through the Steps. If they are a facsimile of that instruction and understanding, great! If not, then they should perhaps be avoided.

The medium does not matter: what matters is that the instructions are followed from the Book with guidance in the form of the aggregate experience of a sponsorship lineage crystallised in the instruction of a particular sponsor. Whether the words are conveyed orally or both orally and with worksheets to take away is neither here nor there. However, there is one tiny advantage with worksheets for a sponsee to take away: they do not have to take copious notes whilst talking to their sponsor, if the worksheets match what the sponsor is saying, and there is no risk of ‘Chinese whispers’ or dilution as the instructions and understanding pass down the chain from sponsor to sponsee and onwards.

When the Big Book was written, one of the reasons it was written was to ensure that the message remained intact. The enormous experience gained over the decades in AA is also preserved, through the oral tradition passed down from sponsor to sponsee, but also through tapes of speakers and the writings of AA members.

Ultimately, if something works, great! If something does not work: disregard it.


A final point: money should not be made out of AA materials. If worksheets are provided for free, knock yourself out. If you are being asked to pay, be warned.

The first three Steps for the purposes of ad hoc inventory

Before writing inventory, it’s a good idea to recap the first three Steps.

Here’s a quick way of doing this, if one has some urgent but limited inventory to write.

Step One

Being off-beam results ultimately in relapse, and the first drink could trigger an unstoppable process, so being off-beam is a grave matter.

Being off-beam always involves the ideas contained within the Serenity Prayer not being practised.

·         I am not able to accept something I cannot change.
·         I am accepting something that I should change.
·         I am not able to change something I should change.
·         I am trying to change something I cannot change.
·         I am confused about what I can and cannot change.

Which of these apply?

Step Two

Do I trust that the Steps will work on this, the way they have worked on everything else, to restore me to useful harmony with myself, others, and God?

Step Three

Am I willing for all of my beliefs, thinking, and action to be challenged and redirected, regardless of the personal consequences?

Is there anything I am unwilling to turn over to this process and thereby to God?


Once these have been answered satisfactorily, proceed to write inventory.

How to practise these principles in all your affairs

Service in AA or in life doesn't just happen. If it is not planned, it won't happen, either because other opportunities will come up or because people do not spontaneously make an effort to serve God by serving others. In addition, because many diary items are scheduled way in advance, planning must take place on a longer-term basis and not just for the day, or you get to the day and there will be no room for service because other items have already filled the schedule.

There are seven areas of service: sponsorship, home group service, AA structure service, carrying the message to the outside world; service in the workplace, service in the home and with family (and by extension with friends), and service to the community and to society.

Sponsorship: time must be set aside to sponsor people. Determine what slots you will reserve. Then social and leisure items must be fitted around these slots. If you do not yet have sponsees, at least five meetings a week are necessary. This is in order to find sponsees to work with. Aim to get there early, help out with service at these meetings, get to know people, find out who is new or suffering, talk to them, exchange numbers, and befriend them, so that you can be in place to offer help if it is later asked for. Follow up with phone calls or texts to see how they are doing and to see if they want to meet up to go to a meeting. Share at the meeting about alcoholism, Steps, sponsorship, the Big Book, the Higher Power, and service, and then stay afterwards and go for fellowship. If you follow this outline, you will acquire sponsees. As the Big Book says, most of us spend much of our free time engaged in this type of work. That means you must spend much of your free time doing this, if you are to reap the benefits of the programme. Always know seven days ahead which meetings you are going to attend.

Home group service. Perform service at one, maybe at two groups per week at least. Always consider how the service should ideally be carried out. What actions would you need to take to best perform this service? What would a perfect GSR do? What would a perfect literature secretary do? Go beyond anything you have ever seen in terms of performing well. Be proactive, think ahead, and plan actions.

AA structure service: always have a role within the AA structure. As with home group service, envision with God's help what maxing out on performing this service would look like practically, in terms of effectiveness and efficiency. Plot what actions you would need to take to do this. Then plug these items into your schedule. Make sure you are fully familiar with all of the relevant AA service literature. Read and reread periodically.

Carrying the AA message to the outside world: this may be a service assignment within the AA structure, such as a liaison role, or a role at the AA telephone office talking to callers, etc. Maybe there is an AA meeting held in an institution. Maybe schools talks are available. Find out what roles are available and take one up. As with all other service, ask God and others how to max out in terms of time, effectiveness, and efficiency in performing these roles.

The other areas are far more varied (work, home, and society and community). In these areas, sit down with God and ask how you can maximise your service through these areas. Ask how you can be imaginative, proactive, and think ahead of yourself and others in envisioning how you could be maximum service and benefit to others or how you could fit yourself to be of maximum service and benefit to others.

How does this fit in with social and leisure activities? Obviously, to do lots of service, you will end up with less time for leisure and social activities, although lots of AA service is essentially a social activity, and if you are following God's will and filled with imagination, joy, and creativity because you are trying to invoke these characteristics and skills in performing service, there'll be little need for traditional, passive forms of leisure. The Big Book says, quite intuitively, that, amongst AAs who are really living this path, the things that seem to matter so much to other people don't matter so much to them anymore.

To summarise: envision with God how you can fit yourself to be of maximum service and then actually be of maximum service to God through service to others in all these areas, and then fill your schedule for the next month. Leisure and social activities can fit around the service. Not the other way round.

Why bother? This sounds like hard work.
I do it because:
(1) It is insurance against drinking.
(2) The activities need doing, and if those suitably positioned do not, who will?
(3) There is a moral obligation to give all one can, particularly within AA.
(4) The results are indescribably better than living a life based on self.


How do you know if it is God's will?

How do you ask God what to do?

You say, ‘God, what shall I do? Write down the answer that comes. Test this against the following questions and ask the advice of one or maybe two people who are the most reliable advice-givers in your life.

·         Is this proposed course of action selfish?
·         Is there a bad motive hiding under a good one?
·         Does this proposed course of action meet the needs of others generally?
·         Does this proposed course of action meet the needs of someone who is suffering?
·         Does this proposed course of action enable me to be of maximum service?
·         Is there a cost? If so, what is the cost?
·         Would anyone else be affected negatively?
·         If so, must their consent be obtained?
·         Would this produce an inappropriate imbalance in my life?




The cold truth of Step Three

In Step Three, we’re asked to make a decision to turn our will and our life over to God. Lots of people take this Step but are then offended at the suggestion that God should have an actual say in how they spend their time. I, for one, thought for a long time that it was my right, for instance, to spend an inordinate amount of time on work and pleasures without considering for a moment that the phrase ‘our will and our life’ actually is universal in scope. I wanted to work to earn money, to establish security, and to obtain a position in the world in my own and others’ eyes. I wanted leisure because I deserved it. God’s will may well be for me to have leisure and to work, but I was not actually asking God what He wanted me to do. It turns out that ‘my will’ really means the powerhouse behind the decisions as to what I do, twenty-four hours a day, and how I undertake such activities. Nothing falls outside this scope. Asking the very open question of what God’s will is for me would be dangerous, inviting all sorts of absurd responses, were guidance not available within the Big Book (‘Alcoholics Anonymous’), providing boundaries against which the answer should be measured.

Here are some examples: I should be of maximum service; I should think constantly of others and how to meet their needs; I should ask myself how I can help the man who is still suffering; I should have the other person’s happiness in mind; I should balance activities in various areas of my life; I should ask myself whether the relation is selfish or not. Once these are applied, there is usually little doubt as to whether the course of action is right or wrong.

The question is really one of willingness. When I said I wanted to turn my will and life over to God, did I mean it? If I meant it, that means I have foregone the right to determine any course of action without asking God first.


Doing the programme to avoid doing the programme

There are several ways of avoiding doing the programme whilst doing the programme. ‘Doing the programme’ essentially means staying close to God and performing His work well, in line with page 63 of the Big Book.

Here are three ways of avoiding this under cover of doing this. I have been guilty of all three.

Firstly, one can be a Pharisee. A Pharisee is concerned with the letter of the law but not with the spiritual essence or the relationship with God, to whom he is subservient and whose will he must seek in all matters. AA Pharisees are keen to point out to everyone what they are doing wrong but don’t go to God directly asking for strength and inspiration. They parrot the words but miss the message. Loveless and dry, little good comes of this approach.

Secondly, one can be a busybody. A busybody is full of action, sometimes right action, but the actions are frantic, not targeted, and not necessarily well thought through. There is interference, bad temper, and controlling behaviour. The job may get done, but maybe at the expense of better work and certainly at the cost of a huge expenditure of personal resources. Here, again, the problem is relying on self not God for strength and direction. Usually the heart is in the right place, but plugged into the correct source, namely God, the results would be perfect harmony and impressive progress rather than confusion and bluster.

Thirdly, one can be a hermit. Hermits are keep on staying close to God but not so keen on performing God’s work well. Step Eleven is great, but the purpose is not to achieve oneness just so one can get high off the feeling or run away from the world and its responsibilities.

The solution is to combine the good elements of all three and then to ensure that God is the source of direction and strength in all cases. This is simply achieved: we do need to know the letter of the law, we do need to be active, and we do need on occasion to be quiet and to retreat into the presence of God. Real wisdom derives, however, from combining all three of these judiciously and dynamically in response to ever-changing internal and external environments.


Buffing up the florist's van

If you were a florist, and your job was to deliver flowers to people, you would make sure not only that the flowers are in good condition but that the driver is neat, clean, polite, and friendly and that the van is clean and well maintained. Being spiritual does not mean neglecting the physical. If your job is to carry a beneficial message about God's love and the transformation available to others through the programme of AA, let alone be of use in other areas, you have to make sure your body is working well. Physical health, exercise, stopping smoking, diet, and reversing or avoiding obesity and other factors that provoke disease and shorten life are therefore important. Our job in AA is to maximise our effectiveness as servants of God, and to do so we need to be in fit condition and maximise the length of time available to do the work at hand. People might cry out that this is none of anyone's business but their own. That's fair enough if one hasn't taken Step Three. But once one has taken Step Three, one has decided to consider how one can best serve God, and physical health is clearly vital to support this.

Sunday, 23 October 2016

STEP 12 CHAPTER 09 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Read the chapter once through then read it more carefully once again, answering the following questions.
Questions
Reference or answer
Should an alcoholic get special treatment just because they are in recovery?
Page 122:1.[1]
No. Just because a person is in recovery, they don’t get free passes or special treatment. We have God behind us. We don’t need free passes or special treatment. In fact, with God behind us, and the programme ahead of us, we have greater responsibilities than those without the programme and structure of AA.
What is the common ground of a relationship?
Page 122:1.
The common ground of tolerance, understanding, and love. That means there is no room for criticism, intolerance, or impatience. Instead: try to understand where people are coming from and why they are doing what they are doing, and above all accept things as they are. Love means doing things for fun and for free expecting nothing in return.
The concept of common ground means that we each have our own private ground and individual lives, to which we are entitled privacy.
Where do problems in families or other groups come from?
Page 122.
·         Having fixed ideas about the family’s attitude towards you.
·         Being interested in having your wishes respected.
·         Demanding others concede.
·         Playing the lead.
·         Trying to arrange the family show to your liking.
·         Trying to see what you can take from family life rather than give.
NB this applies to any group dynamic.
What mistakes do the family of someone in recovery make?
Page 123:1 onwards.
·         Remembering good times in the past and comparing today’s life unfavourably against them.
·         Demanding that the good times be brought back instantly.
·         Believing God owes them something.
·         Not realising that an even better life lies ahead but that it takes years.
·         Reproaching the recovering person.
·         Burying the skeletons of the past in a dark closet and padlocking the door.
·         Believing that happiness requires forgetfulness.
·         Digging up past misdeeds so they become a blight.
·         Unearthing old affairs and angrily casting their ashes around.
·         Criticising or laughing at other people.
Page 131:0 onwards.
·         In families where the non-alcoholic assumed all responsibilities, not adjusting when the alcoholic is once more able to take their rightful place.
·         Demanding that the alcoholic give them all their attention and stay at home.
What should the family of someone in recovery do instead?
Page 123:1 onwards.
·         Admire them for what they are trying to be rather than what they are trying to get.
·         Be willing to turn the past to good account.
·         Face and rectify errors and convert them into assets.
·         When the occasion requires, bring even grievous former mistakes out of their hiding places to show others how we were given help—but do not discuss past occurrences unless some good and useful purpose is to be served.
·         Temper talk of each other by a spirit of love and tolerance.
·         Do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure they would approve.
·         Stick to our own stories.
Page 127:1 onwards.
·         See own shortcomings and admit them to others.
·         Avoid heated argument, self-pity, self-justification, or resentful criticism.
·         Ask less and give more: giving rather than getting is the guiding principle.
Page 130:2 onwards.
·         Apply spiritual principles yourself.
·         Adopt a sane spiritual programme and make good practical use of it.
·         Yield.
What are the pitfalls for the alcoholic in recovery in relation to family life? How should the family respond to each? How should the alcoholic respond?
Page 125:3 onwards.
Plunging into a frantic attempt to get on their feet in business (symptoms on page 126:1–2).
Response by the family:
·         Don’t criticise—it makes the impasse worse.
·         Recognise the alcoholic is still convalescing.
·         Be grateful for their sobriety and ability to ‘be of this world’ once more.
·         Praise progress.
·         Remember how long it takes to repair damage.
·         Pursue tolerance, love, and spiritual understanding.
Response by the alcoholic:
·         Don’t place money first.
·         Remember that material wellbeing follows spiritual progress.
·         Exert oneself in the home.
·         Show unselfishness and love.
Talking or thinking of little other than their new life (symptoms on page 128:1–2).
Response by the family:
·         Appreciate that this is but a phase.
·         Do not criticise.
·         Do not try to change them.
·         Let them go as far as they like in helping other alcoholics.
Response by the alcoholic:
·         Recognise that there is a distortion of values—a spiritual life which does not include his family obligations is imperfect.
Are there obligations outside recovery and the home?
Page 131:2 onwards.
Make new acquaintances who know nothing of alcoholism and give thoughtful consideration to their needs.
Give attention to the problems of the community.
(Optionally) make contact with or take membership in a religious body, avoiding argument, instead making new friends and finding new avenues of usefulness and pleasure.
Is there room for fun in recovery?
We absolutely insist on enjoying life.
How should we respond to politics?
We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders.
What do we do when we see anyone in need? And what is the boundary of this?
When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal. For his sake, we do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past.
But those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them.
Whose fault is unhappiness, and how should we deal with adversity?
We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn't do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.
What advice is given on health matters?
But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. … Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.
What advice is given on sex?
Page 134:1.
What advice is given on how to get on with the children of the family?
Page 134:2–3.
What are the promises of this chapter?
Old buildings will eventually be replaced by finer ones.
The alcoholic’s past becomes the principal asset of the family and frequently the only one.
Your dark past is the greatest possession you have—the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them.
You have barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if you mine it for the rest of your life and insist on giving away the entire product.
Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make-believe have eventually seen the childishness of it. This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose, accompanied by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travellers are, and that is where our work must be done. These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness.
He and his family can be a bright spot in such congregations. He may bring hope and new courage to many a priest, minister, or rabbi, who gives his all to minister to our troubled world.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.
We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any mark of dissipation.
What are the three slogans of this chapter?
First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It.




[1] The page numbers denote pages in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. The numbers after the colon indicate the paragraph of the page in question. ‘1’ means the first full paragraph. ‘0’ means any run-on paragraph at the top of the page, which actually started on the previous page.

Friday, 21 October 2016

What is the role of a sponsor after the individual has been through the AA programme?

Al-Anon literature suggests that we do not do for others what they can do for themselves. How does this apply in sponsorship? I do not give people answers they can come up with themselves. My job, rather, is to start at the point that the individual can go no further based on their own resources and knowledge and then help them onwards. Once someone has been given the AA programme and has worked systematically through the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous', the job of the sponsor becomes to spot where there are gaps and where something has been missed or where there is further insight or experience that can be shared. To do this effectively and efficiently, the sponsor has to know how far the individual can go solving a problem before stepping in. To do more is to spoon-feed and infantilise the individual. Instead of instantly shooting out an answer, the job is to say: 'What does Chapter X say about this?' 'What does Step X say about this?' 'Are you aware of any AA tools that can be applied in this situation?'

Constancy

‘What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.’ (‘Alcoholics Anonymous’)

The AA programme is not for the faint-hearted. You have to really want it. Why would a person really want it? Because they are desperately sick of living with the emotions associated with being in self. What does being in self mean? Thinking constantly about what other people think about you, about what you think about you, about how other people are behaving, and about what you want and need and how to get it or how you’re not getting it. Fortunately, there is an alternative. Most people think that they can get away with a tiny little bit of contact with God at the beginning and end of the day and get the results of constant contact. That does not work. At any point in time, we’re either listening to God’s voice or the voice of the ego. There is no such thing as harmless empty thinking. If the problem of self is the absence of God, the absence of God without any overtly selfish, fearful, or unkind thoughts is still the absence of God. Whether or not the wasteland has monsters is entirely secondary—it’s still a wasteland, and the appearance of monsters is a matter of time.

‘But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish.’ (‘Alcoholics Anonymous’)

What this means is that if I want the results of turning to God constantly I need to turn to God constantly in my thought and to direct my action accordingly, with the sense at all times that the action is ultimately directed by and is being carried out for God.

Saturday, 15 October 2016

STEP 12 CHAPTER 08 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Read the chapter once through then read it more carefully once again, answering the following questions.
Questions
Reference or answer
Do you have to born to, bear, or be married to an alcoholic to be affected by someone else’s drinking?
Page 104[1].
How has someone else’s drinking affected you practically?
Pages 104–107.
How has someone else’s drinking affected you emotionally?
Pages 104–107; 114:4; 116:1; 118:3–4.
How has someone else’s drinking affected your behaviour?
Pages 104–107; 114:4.
How has someone else’s drinking affected your thinking?
Pages 104–107; 114:4; 116:1; 118:3–4.
How has someone else’s drinking affected you morally?
Page 116:2–3.
If the alcoholic’s problem is the obsession he or she can ‘control and enjoy alcohol’, the candidate Al-Anon’s obsession is that he or she can ‘control and enjoy the alcoholic’. How does this manifest itself? What does the book say? What is your own experience?
Pages 105:1–2; 107:2.
‘…that strange world of alcoholism where everything is distorted and exaggerated …’: was your thinking distorted and exaggerated when you were drinking? Is it still distorted and exaggerated today?
Page 108:1.
Why does the alcoholic behave so badly? Is that behaviour reflective of who he or she really is?
Page 108:1.
What advice does the chapter give on how handle an alcoholic in general?
Do not condemn or criticise.
Do not tell someone what to do about his or her drinking.
Do not set your heart on reforming another.
Do not remind him or her of his or her spiritual deficiency.
Treat him or her as if he or she were sick.
Do not be angry—be of good temper.
Do not disagree in a resentful spirit.
Defuse or abort heated discussions.
Show patient, tolerance, understanding, and love.
Live and let live.
Show willingness to remedy defects.
What are the instructions on trying to help an alcoholic if you are not yourself a recovering or recovered alcoholic?
Pages 110–114.
How far does tolerance extend? Should you ever leave or drop a relationship because of someone’s alcoholism? In what circumstances?
Pages 108:3; 111:1; 114:3.
Which category of alcoholic did you fall into? Which category of alcohol do any still-drinking alcoholics in your life fall into?
Pages 107–110.
How do you explain a person’s alcoholism to friends, to children, or to others?
Page 115.
What advice does the chapter give on how to handle conflict or disagreement with another person?
Pages 117–118.
What advice does the chapter give on how to handle excessive expectations?
Page 118:2–3.
What advice does the chapter give on how to handle resentment?
Pages 116:0; 117:3; 118:4; 119:0.
What advice does the chapter give on how to handle jealousy?
Page 119:1.
What advice does the chapter give on how to handle isolation?
Page 119:2.
What should you think of?
Page 120:0.
What are the promises of this chapter?
E.g. pages 104:4; 111:3; 114:3; 115:2; 115:3; 116:1; 116:2; 116:3; 117:1; 117:2; 118:2; 119:2; 120:0.
How do you respond to a recovering alcoholic relapsing?
Page 120:1–3.
How do people sometimes try to stop an alcoholic from drinking? Does it work? What should they do instead?
Page 120:3.





[1] The page numbers denote pages in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. The numbers after the colon indicate the paragraph of the page in question. ‘1’ means the first full paragraph. ‘0’ means any run-on paragraph at the top of the page, which actually started on the previous page.