"... because I spend all my time being what other people want me to be."
A common refrain in the world of recovery.
This was certainly my perception of myself. But it was not other people's perception of me. Other people's perception of me was that I was annoying, wilful, and incorrigible. Unfortunately, my perception was wholly untrue. I did not ask others what they wanted me to be. When people did give me direction, I tended to ignore it most of the time, finding it impertinent. I had a plan for manipulating other people's perception of me, and that had nothing to do with what they actually wanted.