In Step Three, we’re asked to make a decision to
turn our will and our life over to God. Lots of people take this Step but are
then offended at the suggestion that God should have an actual say in how they
spend their time. I, for one, thought for a long time that it was my right, for
instance, to spend an inordinate amount of time on work and pleasures without
considering for a moment that the phrase ‘our will and our life’ actually is
universal in scope. I wanted to work to earn money, to establish security, and
to obtain a position in the world in my own and others’ eyes. I wanted leisure
because I deserved it. God’s will may well be for me to have leisure and to
work, but I was not actually asking God what He wanted me to do. It turns out
that ‘my will’ really means the powerhouse behind the decisions as to what I
do, twenty-four hours a day, and how I undertake such activities. Nothing falls
outside this scope. Asking the very open question of what God’s will is for me
would be dangerous, inviting all sorts of absurd responses, were guidance not
available within the Big Book (‘Alcoholics Anonymous’), providing boundaries
against which the answer should be measured.
Here are some examples: I should be of maximum
service; I should think constantly of others and how to meet their needs; I
should ask myself how I can help the man who is still suffering; I should have
the other person’s happiness in mind; I should balance activities in various
areas of my life; I should ask myself whether the relation is selfish or not.
Once these are applied, there is usually little doubt as to whether the course
of action is right or wrong.
The question is really one of willingness. When I
said I wanted to turn my will and life over to God, did I mean it? If I meant
it, that means I have foregone the right to determine any course of action
without asking God first.