I used to have trouble connecting with people in AA. I was fine with people from my own social background but steered clear of others. I got over it.
Here's what I did.
1. Recognised the universal worth of all people.
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2. Performed twelfth-step work including: prisons, detoxes, treatment centres, telephone service, and the twelfth-stepper lists.
This enabled me to see past superficial differences and connect with anyone who has a drink problem.
3. I prayed the St Francis prayer from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions:
It worked.
Here's what I did.
1. Recognised the universal worth of all people.
Read this
2. Performed twelfth-step work including: prisons, detoxes, treatment centres, telephone service, and the twelfth-stepper lists.
This enabled me to see past superficial differences and connect with anyone who has a drink problem.
3. I prayed the St Francis prayer from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions:
Lord, make me a channel of thy peace—that where there is hatred, I may bring love—that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness—that where there is discord, I may bring harmony—that where there is error, I may bring truth—that where there is doubt, I may bring faith—that where there is despair, I may bring hope—that where there are shadows, I may bring light—that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted—to understand, than to be understood—to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.4. I asked God to help me with the following defects of character (adapted from the St Augustine Prayer Book):
PRIDE is putting self in the place of God as the centre and objective of our life, or of some department thereof. It is the refusal to recognize our status as creatures, dependent on God for our existence, and placed by him in a specific relationship to the rest of his creation.
[→ HUMILITY is putting God in the place of self as the centre and objective of our life, or of some department thereof. It is the recognition of our status as creatures, dependent on God for our existence, and placed by him in a specific relationship to the rest of his creation.]
Snobbery. Pride over race, family, position, personality, education, skill, achievements, or possessions.
Contempt. Scorn of another's virtue, ability, shortcomings, or failings. Prejudice against those we consider inferior, or who consider us inferior, or who seem to threaten our security or position. Ridicule of persons, institutions or ideals.
Failure to recognize our job as a divine vocation or to offer our work to God.
Unwillingness to surrender to and abide in God, to let him act in and through us. Failure to offer to God regularly in intercession the persons or causes that have, or should enlist our interest and support.
Indifference. Unconcern over injustice to others, especially that caused by currently accepted social standards; or unmindfulness of the suffering of the world. Neglect of duties to state or community.
Ignoring of needy, lonely or unpopular persons in our own or the parish family, or in the neighbourhood; or unwillingness to minister to them. Insufficient attention to the needs of our family.
It worked.