“Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice.” (Page 96, Big Book)
How have I chosen a sponsor?
I have quite a few sponsors over the years, and quite a number in the first ten years. I would pick someone I already knew, with whom a relationship had already developed organically, where the interaction was already reciprocal and cordial. Just because I have heard someone speak in meetings does not mean that I know them.
One does not propose marriage to a stranger, and one does not ask people on dates who have never shown the slightest interest. When I was new, I approached quite a lot of people to chat at meetings. Some responded well. Others less so. Were the ones who responded less so wrong? No. People have good instinct. There’s always a good reason for aversion, even if it’s impossible to put one’s finger on it. There is such a thing as compatibility, and that compatibility is best determined by experience. Incompatibility is not a judgement on either person but a brute fact.
When such instincts are not followed, and the potential sponsor reluctantly agrees to ‘help’ someone who has fixed their sights on them, the incompatibility usually scuppers the process further down the line. Then the individual is back where they started.