“Driven” (Page 62, Big Book)
The point of powerlessness is that I am not the one on whose behalf I’m drinking. Reasons for drinking are neither here nor there. I don’t have agency, and, since I don’t have agency, my ‘reasoning’ as to why I’m doing it is irrelevant. If you’re not driving the bus, giving reasons for why you are turning left or right are delusional. You’re not turning left or right. The bus—the bus driver—is. When I’m in active addiction, I’m being driven; I’m not driving. What I think and feel is irrelevant, because these are literally not a driver of anything. I’m not drinking. The alcoholism is drinking through me.