“Whenever I give in to my natural impulse and habit to take over and try to force a change, I’m in trouble again. I know I can only make progress when I really believe in, and practice, the First Step.” (ODAT, 30 January)
If I’ve done something wrong, I do need to apologise. It’s best to do so swiftly, simply, and boringly. Understated not overstated.
The purpose of this, however, is not to make someone feel better. It is to clear my side of the street—to fulfil my moral obligation to establish the conditions in which reconciliation is possible.
When someone is upset, I leave entirely alone. I cannot fix it. Anything I say or do will make it worse, so I absent myself entirely, once any mandatory apology and olive branch have been offered.
I cannot force change in others.
I have practice Step One when it comes to others and their paths—they are entitled to their own paths.