“We may not be able to control events, but we can control our attitudes toward them.” (ODAT, 13 October)
90% of the struggle is learning this lesson in principle. The remaining 10% is having this lesson play out in every situation I find myself in.
(a) was talking to (b) and (b) revealed he was feeling a lot of fear. (a) asked why. (b) listed some external circumstances. (b) had not learned the lesson: the real answer is ‘I have the wrong attitude to certain matters.’ Or better: ‘my philosophy of life is wrong’. Or even better: ‘I do not trust God and I do not understand what trusting God means.’
Whilst I think the problem lies in the circumstances, I’m trapped, and, in fact, doomed.
I can tell the extent to which I’ve not fully incorporated the lesson by the extent to which I’m thinking about anything not directly under my control, with few exceptions.
Such circumstances and events must be known of and factored in as landscape features, but dwelling on anything except in order to act—unless I’m actively enjoying a memory, for instance, or actively appreciating some pleasantness—points to my own continued perceived victimhood.
There’s one legitimate type of dwelling: the attempt—under God’s guidance—to understand the mechanics of the universe, society, people. This legitimate learning enables me to become more effective myself. Mirrors are better than trying to peer at hard-to-reach places. But as soon as the position of neutrality is yielded, best to give it up for a bit, and return to the simplicity of the Next Right Action.