“life of sane and happy usefulness” (Page 130, Big Book)
When I’m unhappy, I’m insane, which means I’m not seeing anything as it is.
When I’m unhappy, I have questions, usually about the apparently thorniest thing in my life, and I try to talk about these things to others.
If such others are sane, themselves, they will say, “You’re mad. Get sane first. Then we’ll discuss.”
Unfortunately, most people will take what an unhappy person reports as having some sort of relationship with the truth or with reality, will try to tidy it up, adjust it, and make it a bit better.
A lot of activity ensues but nothing changes.
No one wants their perceptual system to be razed to the ground and replaced with a new one.
That is the only thing the Steps really offer, however.
If the Steps do not ruin everything, they’ve not been done right.
They’re not there to improve things.
They’re there to destroy the entire world one lives in, to replace it with a new one.
“A new world came into view.” (Page 12)
It’s possible to do lots of Step actions but not take the Steps.
One needs the right premise and a full battery of actions, for quite some time.
What is the right premise?
That the only sane thing one can say is that one must be quite mad.
In other words, the problem is not him, her, it, them, the world, God, or anything.
When I’m unhappy, I’m not unhappy because of him, her, it, them, the world, God, or anything.
I’m unhappy because I’m an unhappy person.
Same if I’m frightened, angry, or anything but peaceful, trusting, and buzzing along.
The problem is the person, or, really, the persona.
The persona must be destroyed.
“I'm here to kill you, not to judge you.” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
If one wants to destroy the persona and be left with the person, who will be a complete stranger, then, by all means, take the Steps.
I was willing only when I had so utterly failed I wanted to die.
The only useful thing another person could was to butter the slide to accelerate the descent.
Anyone that tried to help me on the way down was preventing me from hitting a rock bottom.
Get away from them.
Talk to the people who don’t believe a word one is saying, and one might learn something.