“Whenever I had a tantrum, my mother would say very quietly: ‘You’re forgetting yourself, dear; modulate your voice and then it won’t hurt so much.’ That always brought me up short and made me ashamed.” (ODAT, 28 August)
Another reason to not take one’s own defects—or virtues—personally: they are performance, not identity.
Someone, to bring me up short if I’m being waspish, says, ‘We’re better than that.’
A response to defects: ‘This need not be.’