“The only force that can change the alcoholic’s pattern is the pressure that builds up inside him when the family refuses to react any longer. When he can’t count on your helping him, when you won’t assuage his guilt by fighting with him, and you refuse to get him out of trouble then he’ll be compelled to face up to things. In other words, try inaction instead of constantly figuring out something to do about him.” (ODAT, 14 July)
What is splendid about this is that it releases me from my apparent obligation to ‘do something about it’. I can’t, so I don’t need to even try. This stops the haemorrhaging of time and energy on a fruitless pursuit and leaves me space to get on with living.