Insanity

“Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink,” (Chapter 1, Big Book)

Since taking the first drink is necessary an insane act (in a person, like me, who, when they drink, does so miserably and destructively), any reference to purpose or reason is ill-placed.

If I ask Sally, “For what purpose did you eat the cheesecake,” and she says, “Because I was hungry,” she has stated the purpose of her action, and it is reasonable. If Sally is known to be insane, her stated purpose may or may not be real cause of her eating the cheesecake. We have no way of knowing.

If I ask Sally, “For what purpose did you drink the bottle of vodka?” (this event causing a hangover), and she says, “Because I had a headache,” since the effect represents a magnification of the cause, she is clearly not indicating the real cause behind her drinking it (although she may well believe in her own ‘reasoning’). When insanity might be at play, the subject ceases to be a reliable witness.

Similarly, if I note the consequent (Sally got drunk) and infer a ground (she must have had a purpose), yet the scenario is one of apparent insanity, I’m employing reasoning fit for a scenario in which sanity and reasonableness are presumed: I’m using the wrong tool for the job.

When someone appears to be acting insanely, the reason they give themselves or report to others for the action must be entirely disregarded, and instead we are looking for cause, not reason (in the sense of purpose), and ground–consequent relations are also out of play.

What is the cause of my having the first drink?

(1) The thought of a drink occurs to me

(2) I obey the thought

What is the cause of my having the second and subsequent drinks?

(1) The thought of the next drink occurs to me

(2) I obey the thought

Why not collapse these?

The mechanism appears the same, but there is a fundamental physical difference between the two scenarios.

The first drink occurs when I am sober and renders me in a state where I cannot take the first drink again for some days. It cannot recur in a repetitive sequence like knocking at the door.

The second drink occurs when I have drunk alcohol and is capable of recurring in a repetitive sequence like knocking at the door: the door is restored essentially to the same state it was in before the knock. There’s thus little or no palpable difference between my condition with each additional drink. I go round in a circle.