“We help best by inspiring people to think through and solve their own problems. Otherwise we deprive them of the opportunity to develop experience and strength from working things out for themselves.” (ODAT, 7 May)
Even helping others with step work is usually impossible. I was mentally scrambled when I got into recovery, and neither I nor anyone else could unscramble the scrambled. God could, but that took time. Other people heard inventory, made specific suggestions in relation to Step Nine, and gave specific guidance on specific life situations based on sound recovery principles and their decades of experience; that guidance was invariably helpful. But people stayed clear of my mind.
Now the tables are turned, I recognise that the most effective thing to do is present the programme to others and leave them out largely of the process. If they want to listen and take on board what I’m saying, great; if not, that’s fine too. But I can’t unscramble the scrambled. They’ll have to sort that out with God.