“act and common sense” (Page 77, Big Book)
“we may need to use a little more discretion” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions)
“Shush, Henrik!, Goodness, how you gush, Henrik! Hush, Henrik!” (Stephen Sondheim, A Little Night Music)
Honesty is good, but so are tact, discretion, diplomacy,
modesty, humility, courtesy, staying in my lane, refraining from interference
or self-promotion, patience, tolerance, kindness, respecting the autonomy of
others, anonymity, playing the long game, and letting things play out; all of
these can license silence over speaking.
I have to be honest with myself, true, but self-examination
must be constrained to appointed times, or excessive self-focus distorts the
picture.
I have to be honest with my sponsor and my confessor, again
at appointed times of seeking counsel or performing confession.
I have to be honest in the sense of absence of foul,
ulterior motives and freedom from art and guile.
But honesty in the sense of splatter-gun candour I find it
best to avoid.
Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does
it need to be said right now?
WAIT: Why am I talking?
WAIST: Why am I still talking?
What’s your experience?