“Sometimes an over-eager newcomer asks a number of people for advice about a problem or is forever calling up various members to get their views on her troubles. For her there is one good piece of advice: ‘Get yourself one sponsor, and stop confusing yourself by trying to coordinate too many opinions.’” (ODAT, 20 May)
If I ask one person for advice, and I follow it, I’m
following their advice.
If I ask two people, and pick between them, the choice is
made based on my judgement, so, if I follow one of the pieces of advice, I’m
really following my own advice but outsourcing responsibility for the content.
When a sponsor or other advisor provides input, and I say,
‘I agree’, I’m in danger: I’m not really after input; I’m after an echo of my
own settled views. To agree is to run the input past my own, internal Quality
Control Department. It ratifies its own ideas and rejects alien ideas. That’s
an excellent way to remain entirely trapped in my own belief system but give
myself the impression I’m open-minded, listening to all sides, and taking
sensible advice from trusted advisors.
I once said to someone, “I agree.” They replied, “And if you
didn’t. Where would we be then?”