“I will pause and think before I say anything, lest my anger turns back upon me and makes my difficulties even greater.” (ODAT, 15 April)
There’s more mischief than just anger.
There’s manipulation, babbling, rambling, bulldozing,
filling the acoustic space with words to distract myself from my own discomfort
or uncertainty, the propagation of my self-pitying narratives.
Some questions to ask while I am thinking before speaking:
Why am I saying this? Is this a Godly purpose? Am I 100% at
peace, cheerful, and relaxed? Do I have an agenda? Have I ‘spotted’ something
that has prompted me to speak? Was that just now? Why the terrible sense of
urgency? Has anyone actually addressed me? Has anyone actually asked my view?
Is this my job to comment on? Is this my job to fix, change, control, or
direct? What if I left this to others to handle? What if I left this to work
itself out? What if I let it brew, ferment, rise, collapse, or die a natural
death? What if I let it play out? What if I let the passage of time reveal more
information? What if I let others take the lead? What if I let God show me what
to do say or do? What if I gave it a day, a week, a month, or a year before
saying or doing anything? What if I got on with my many undone tasks? What if I
asked others what they think, and then listened without interruption,
commentary, redirection, or reply?
Even when I’m invited to speak, I’m inclined to answer a
yes/no question with an unstoppable stream of consciousness.
Often best not to speak at all.
Most situations resolve far better, naturally, and
automatically when I keep my big, fat mouth shut.
I’m gradually making progress towards this ideal.