“In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs. Many of the old problems will still be with you. This is as it should be.” (Chapter 8, Big Book)
The French have a phrase, the mouton à cinq pattes, the sheep with five feet, namely an unattainable ideal.
I often find the fifth foot of the mythical sheep is happiness: my demand is not just that my sheep have four good feet and produce useful wool but that it have the extra boon of the fifth foot. I will demand not only freedom from alcoholic and drugs, abstinence from addictions, the satisfaction of needs, the provision of opportunities for connection and utility, a wealth of things to appreciate, but a smooth, nice time, unadulterated happiness, almost constant joy and excitement, in others words for everything to go my way without the slightest effort, risk, uncertainty, or tension.
When the sheep has only four feet, all is at it should be. I have not been denied anything. My vision of how things should be is a childish fantasy.
Letting go of demands for a smooth life and an agreeable set of emotions firstly is rational but secondly opens me up to appreciation of the rich reality provided beyond these facile demands.