“My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements.” (Chapter 1, Big Book)
“Done” means completed. For years I thought AA had sold me a bill of goods (i.e. swindled me), because I’d taken the Twelve Steps ‘many times’ but still had persistent problems, particularly negative emotions, flashbacks, panic attacks, and more.
The idea was presented to me that, although I’d started the Steps many times, if I had not done my absolute utmost to make amends to everyone I had harmed, I lacked willingness in Step Eight. I was stuck on Step Eight, even though I had taken certain actions of later Steps. I had not actually taken the Steps once.
If taking the Twelve Steps is like a rail trip to Edinburgh, I had been stuck on a siding outside Doncaster for many years, furious that I could not hear bagpipes.