“They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity.” (Dr Silkworth, writing in The Doctor’s Opinion, Big Book)
“Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, ‘I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time.’ As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself.” (Chapter 11, Big Book)
The doctor is looking at the alcoholic objectively, as an object. The alcoholic in the grip of the impulse to drink, which, having sought the help of the doctor, he is fighting to resist, is restless, irritable, and discontent.
The serious drinker is looking at the alcoholic—himself—subjectively, as a subject. The alcoholic in the grip of the impulse to drink may not be adequately aware of his actual condition. He fools himself. And the alcoholic—sober for a while on his own wits—is not continuously subject to the impulse to drink. Bill’s Story, Jim’s story, Fred’s story, the man of thirty, and the certain American businessman all had periods where they had no trouble at all not drinking, until, of course they did. During those periods there is no indication that they were suffering restlessness, irritability, and discontentment; in fact, the evidence points in the other direction. It is only ‘at certain times’ that one has no adequate mental defence.
Conclusion: I cannot rely on my subjective assessment of my mental or spiritual condition. It can be deceptive, in both directions.
What matters is the objective assessment: being open with a sponsor enables this. The sponsor is not perfect, by any means, but the sponsor, importantly, is not me.
There are then seven objective measures (drawn from the Big Book) I can employ to assess how I really am:
- Am I resentful?
- Is my behaviour harming anyone?
- Do I have any secrets?
- Do I have any unfaced creditors?
- Do I have any unmade amends?
- Does my conduct suggest complacency?
- Am I engaged in work and self-sacrifice for others?