“In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be.” (Chapter 3, Big Book)
- Every time I surrender to an impulse, I am giving one more seat in the assembly to the Impulse Party
- Impulses can be overridden at will whilst there is a majority in the assembly for the Higher Values Party.
- But all it takes is for the Impulse Party to get one too many seats and acquire a majority, and the ability to override impulses is lost.
- This loss can be permanent, if the impulse is to relapse.
When I re-enter a relapse-y phase (with alcohol, or with anything else), I do not exit: I have to wait until I am, as Bill was in his story in the Big Book, separated.