Enough

“This, the newcomer thinks, is just about the last straw. This is the beginning of the end. And so it is: the beginning of the end of his old life, and the beginning of his emergence into a new one.” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions)

Sometimes I’ve absolutely had enough. A little bit of me. But mostly of others, of the world. The spirit in which this originates might be churlish, but it can be turned to good account. What I’ve had enough is my experience of me, of others, of the world. Feeling that there is absolutely no point in going on, no point in anything, forms the perfect basis for Step Three. In fact, it is the prerequisite. I’ve been told: if you still have any investment, any potted seeds waiting to sprout, anything at all tying you to the world, ‘get done’ with that, as you had to with drinking, and then come back. Until then, have at it. The desire to completely let go of everything is an excellent one. The choice is only whether to throw everything down the drainpipe or hand it to God.

If I am done with clothing, I don’t throw it away: I give it to charity.

If I am done with my life, I don’t throw it away: I give to Charity (God, in Step Three).

Then stand back.