“My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator.” (Chapter 1, Big Book)
Imagine if taking the Steps were a journey from London to Edinburgh. One passes through each of the intermediate stations and arrives in Edinburgh. But, rather than getting out in Edinburgh and living in Edinburgh, one gets a flight back to London and decides to continue living there, enriched by much train lore and railway-related wisdom.
It turns out that Edinburgh was never the goal. There was never any interest in Edinburgh. The aim all along was to live in London, just without the horror and the pain.
But guess what? London is London, and London is not Edinburgh.
I did the Steps, yes, sure, to recover from alcoholism (result!) and to get a good ol’-fashioned design for living.
But I still wanted money, security, a career, stuff, advancement, achievement, status, friends, holidays, luxuries, all sorts of things, and the job of life was to obtain, keep, and secure these things against pestilence, war, and termites.
I did not want to abandon myself to God and then content myself with whatever came back to me from God.
I certainly did not set aside large chunks of time to serve God directly through sponsorship and carrying the message or having such work the primary occupation of my mental activity (this is what living in Edinburgh is, in the above example).
It took a second rock-bottom of materialism (‘London’) to convince me I really did want to live in Edinburgh.