6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all—every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.
... all the things ... take them all ... every one ...
It’s not each but all. All: the totality, without exception.
I do not need to consider individual defects.
I’m looking at the totality of defectiveness.
The question is not whether I am willing to be free of this or that defect: it is whether I am willing to see that guarding any defect means I have not let go of the basic premise: I’m in charge, and what I want, I must have. Holding onto one defect in principle means I have not yet begun to understand the nature of the problem: I think I can remain in charge but co-opt God to remove from me anything that I think stands in my way. One hears people talking about defects being ‘survival mechanisms that no longer serve me’. I’m not the one to be served. God is the one to be served, and the defects are what stand in the way of serving God. Being entirely to ready to have such defects removed is to remain the big fat selfish emperor baby, with God as the minion, there to change its diaper. Any view of Step Six involving looking at the pros and cons, the prize and the price, of defects is still stuck in the self-serving mindset.
The deliberate or petulant retention in principle of a character defect is therefore a sign that the relationship with God is inverted, and needs to be upended: this is why the review of the first five steps is so important for Step Six: I discover myself entirely ready because:
1. My physical craving for alcohol, if set off by drinking alcohol, could kill me.
2. I must stay away from the first drink forever.
3. The thought of a drink will occur.
4. It will seem like a good idea: I will think it will serve me.
5. If I am out for me, out to serve me, then I will drink, and I will die. [See note]
6. If I am out for God, out to serve God, what serves me is irrelevant, and drinking is impossible.
7. Self-serving must go, so the defects must go, as part of this bigger project of the destruction of self.
[Pirkei Avot 1:14 He [Rabbi Hillel] used to say: If I am not for me, who will be for me? And when I am for myself alone, what am I? And if not now, then when?]
To use another analogy:
If one is hanging off the side of a burning building by one finger, the result is the same as if one is seated wholly inside the burning building.
One must let go absolutely. It’s not a question of fingers and releasing them one by one: it’s a matter of recognising what the fingers are hanging on to.