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A general talk ...

on July 14, 2024

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AA history2 Abandonment1 Abstinence3 Acceptance27 Acting out10 Action44 Addiction6 Adversity1 Advice5 Agnosticism4

Agreement2 Al-Anon174 Alcohol2 Alcoholism12 Altruism1 Ambition6 Amends8 Anger24 Anniversaries2 Anonymity7 Anxiety10 Any lengths1 Apologies2 Apology2 Area / District / Region3 Armed services liaison1 Arrogance1 Atheism6 Attack3 Attention-seeking2 Attitude1 Attitudes1 Authenticity3 Authority1 Balance2 Ballots1 Basic suggestions3 Bedevilments3 Behaviour6 Being wrong4 Belief2 Beliefs5 Big Book25 Bill Wilson1 Bitterness1 Blackouts1 Blame10 Boundaries36 BS-busting3 Business meetings15 Cabbages1 Candour2 Caretaking1 Causes and Conditions2 Certain Type of Hard Drinker2 Certainty1 Chairing7 Change32 Character1 Character defects26 Charity1 Chemistry1 Childishness1 Children1 Choice6 Codependency6 Cognitive biases1 Cognitive distortions5 Comfort1 Commitment8 Committees1 Communication5 Community2 Comparison1 Compassion2 Complacency1 Complaining4 Compliance6 Compulsion1 Concept I15 Concept II13 Concept III22 Concept IV12 Concept IX14 Concept V17 Concept VI14 Concept VII10 Concept VIII9 Concept X16 Concept XI15 Concept XII26 Concepts11 Condemnation1 Conference3 Conference Charter1 Conference Delegates1 Conference-Approved Literature1 Conflict10 Confusion2 Connection3 Consciousness2 Consequences1 Consideration1 Consultation1 Control15 Controversy1 Conventions and conferences3 Cooperation1 Corrective measures20 Courage2 Craziness2 Credit1 Crises6 Criticism8 Current affairs1 Current Agnosticism1 Daily plan2 Daily programme17 Death Threats3 Debate3 Decisions30 Delusion18 Demands40 Denial2 Depression10 Design for living1 Despair5 Detachment26 Detox1 Difficulties2 Directions5 Disagreement1 Discipline3 Discretion1 Discussion3 Disease3 Dishonesty2 Disruption1 Disturbance3 Doctor's Opinion2 Dr Bob1 Dr Bob and the Good Oldtimers1 Drama7 Dreams1 Drinking6 Drugs2 Early AA1 Early days2 Efficiency1 Effort3 Ego87 Electronic media2 Emergency measures8 Emmet Fox3 Emotional sobriety4 Emotions69 Empathy1 Empowerment1 Encouragement1 Enjoyment1 Enthusiasm3 Error3 Etiquette1 Evening review3 Events2 Evil2 Expectations5 Experience2 Extrapolation1 Extremism1 Faith11 False idols6 Family1 Family Afterward6 Fear64 Fear inventory3 Fellowship17 First Things First6 Fit Spiritual Condition1 Flyers3 Food Addiction7 Foolishness1 Forewords8 Forgiveness27 Four Ms1 Fourth dimension3 Freedom7 Full measures1 Fun2 Fundamentalism2 Futility1 Future4 GA1 Gambling Addiction4 Games1 Gaslighting2 General Service Board (GSB)1 Generalisation3 Ghosting1 Giving3 God104 God-reliance125 God's business11 God's will42 Gossip2 Grace6 Gratitude9 Grief4 Grievance3 Group conscience22 Group inventory1 Groups20 Growth3 GSR5 Guilt21 Half measures1 Happiness14 Harassment3 Hard times3 Harm4 Harry M. Tiebout1 Hatred1 Hebrew6 Hedonism1 Hell1 Helping7 Higher Power25 Hobbies1 Home group18 Honesty20 Hope6 Humility15 Hurt2 Ideals1 Identification4 Identity16 Illusions2 Immaturity1 Immorality2 Imperfection2 Inaction1 Inadequacy1 Individualism1 Informal fallacies1 Innocence1 Insanity4 Insecurity1 Inspiration4 Instructions3 Intelligence5 Intelligent agent3 Intergroup7 Interpretation2 Intimacy10 Intuition3 Irony1 Isolation1 JA1 Jealousy2 Jim's Story1 Joy6 Judgement14 Keep it simple10 Kindness4 Knowledge2 Language9 Language of the Big Book4 Last word1 Laurels1 Leadership3 Leaving recovery1 Let It Begin With Me2 Letting go16 Letting go of old ideas18 Lifelong conceptions1 Light1 Live And Let Live1 Living in the triangle1 Logic2 Logical fallacies1 London1 Loneliness1 Long-term sobriety8 Loss2 Love25 Love Addiction7 Management1 Manipulation12 Materialism14 Maximum service10 Medical problems1 Meditation23 Meeting formats2 Meetings56 Mental Obsession29 Method3 Miracles2 Misery4 Moderate drinkers1 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spirit2 Reason9 Receiving1 Recordings1 Recovered vs recovering1 Recovery14 Redemption1 Relapse52 Relationships60 Relief4 Religion8 Remorse2 Requests1 Resentment73 Resentment Inventory15 Reservations1 Resistance24 Resolutions3 Respect1 Responsibility45 Restraint1 Results2 Reworking the Twelve Steps16 Right of Appeal1 Right of Decision1 Right of Petition1 Rising above the problem3 Risk1 Rock-bottom4 Romance1 Romance Addiction15 Rudeness1 Rule 621 Rules3 S-Anon4 SA5 Sabotage3 Sacred cows1 Safeguarding2 Safety2 Salvation1 Sane and Sound Ideal2 Sanity5 Sarcasm1 Satire1 Scepticism1 Second Column1 Second surrender17 Self21 Self-abandonment32 Self-absorption7 Self-care3 Self-centredness7 Self-confidence1 Self-deception1 Self-esteem22 Self-forgetting9 Self-imposed crisis1 Self-justification3 Self-obsession13 Self-pity5 Self-reliance28 Self-righteousness3 Self-sacrifice4 Self-sufficiency1 Self-will26 Selfish programme2 Selfishness14 Sensitivity2 Separation from God4 Serenity1 Serenity Prayer6 Service55 Service meetings2 SETA 2024 Traditions in Relationships Q&A12 Setting aside1 Sex7 Sex Addiction19 Shame10 Sharing48 Shortcuts1 Silence1 Simplicity10 Sincerity1 Slavery1 Sleep1 Slogans7 Slovak1 Sobriety13 Society2 Solution3 Solutions61 Sordid places1 Speakers1 Speaking3 Special interest groups2 Speculation2 Speed2 Spiritual awakening26 Spiritual basis5 Spiritual bypass5 Spiritual malady12 Spiritual pride3 Spiritual principles14 Spiritual solution6 Spirituality20 Sponsorship142 Staying close to God6 Staying sober2 Step buddies1 Step Eight22 Step Eleven65 Step Eleven Review21 Step Five10 Step Four35 Step Four: Page 67 questions7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Bridge Passage7 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: First Column1 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Second Column6 Step Four: Resentment Inventory: Third Column15 Step Nine28 Step One108 Step One (Al-Anon)12 Step One (insanity)20 Step Seven46 Step Six42 Step Ten39 Step Three55 Step Three Idea12 Step Three Requirement12 Step Twelve6 Step Twelve (all our affairs)38 Step Twelve (carrying the message)63 Step Twelve (service)2 Step Two42 Step Two Proposition3 Step XII1 Step Zero5 Stopping drinking2 Stories1 Stress2 Structure of the fellowship1 Study1 Sub-committee3 Success9 Suffering14 Suggestions7 Suicide1 Surrender93 Sympathy1 Tact1 Take It Easy1 Talking1 Teamaking1 Therapy2 There Is A Solution5 Thinking91 Thirteenth Step1 Thoroughly1 Three Legacies1 Three-fold1 Time1 Tips4 To Wives3 Tolerance14 Toxicity1 Tradition I23 Tradition II23 Tradition III9 Tradition IV20 Tradition IX18 Tradition V17 Tradition VI11 Tradition VII13 Tradition VIII5 Tradition X15 Tradition XI13 Tradition XII12 Traditions10 Treasury1 Triggers3 Troubles6 True from the false (cannot differentiate)1 Trust16 Truth17 Turning over4 Twelve & Twelve3 Twelve Step Fellowships4 Twelve Steps28 Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions3 Two-fold2 Two-Stepping1 Unhappiness28 Unity4 Unmanageability29 Upset24 Urgency1 Usefulness3 Validation2 Values7 Victimhood42 Voting1 Vulnerability1 Wanting3 Wanting to stop2 Warranty IV3 Warranty V1 Warranty VI1 We Agnostics6 Willingness42 Willpower1 Withdrawal3 Work9 Workaholism2 Working the Steps13 Workshop packs4 World (the)6 Worry13 Young people and AA1 עברית7 ענווה1

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Step four, resentments, third column: so what?

In 1993, I wrote my first Fourth Step inventory. I was instructed to use the Big Book as the guide. I had a wonderful experience, and it changed my life. I remained confused, however, about the purpose of the third column of the resentment inventory. In this column, according to the Big Book, we are encouraged to write which area of 'self' is affected by a resentment. There are seven: pride, self-esteem, personal and sex relations, ambitions, security, and pocketbooks (= money). The Big Book then remains silent on the significance of the results—in other words what to 'do' with this information. The Fourth Step inventory is certainly effective, even without further work on this third column, as the suggestions on forgiveness on page 67 will be largely effective in removing most resentments, at least for the time being. I remained stuck, however, in double-digit sobriety, with resentments I could not get rid of and resentments that kept cropping up in diffe

The evil and corroding thread

Fear. "This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble." (P. 67:2, 'Alcoholics Anonymous') Someone said to me yesterday: "whatever you reside in will manifest. If you reside in God, God will manifest; if you reside in fear, fear will manifest." Fear fear itself. There is a Jewish proverb, "to worry is a sin; the only permissible worry is that one worries." "Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?" (P. 76:1) To arrive at the conclusion that fear is objectionable (which is the prerequisite for asking for its removal with sufficient e

Using page 68 to solve the fear problem

Page 68 of the Big Book : 'Perhaps there is a better way—we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns . Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us , and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity. We never apologise to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologise for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be . At once, we commence to outgrow fear.' The highlighted passages are the solution to fear. This is how to apply the solution: Fear What is my role? What wo

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