Eat your dinner

When I have truly taken Step One on a situation and I ask for help, the person from whom I have sought help will present information and explain things.

If I run through what they're saying to assess whether I buy it, I'm sunk: I'm using what I have admitted to be a defective system to screen incoming information.

When I'm being a sponsee, my job is to make notes of what is said, say 'yes' and 'thank you', and then go away and assimilate the information. If I am able to assimilate the information, I go back for more.

I do not assess the material first. If I've decided I trust the person, I trust what they say.

Assessment is the sure-fire way to admit only what will not disturb the non-functioning system and repel anything that might act as a corrective or a remedy.

On the other end of the exchange, I listen out for how people say yes.

If they use the yes that means Keep going. I technically understand the words you're saying but I don't fully buy it; you'll have to try harder, and I feel impelled to re-explain, amplify, or convince, I stop the conversation right there.

I was once interviewed by a potential sponsee, beyond the legitimate questions about my experience, recovery practices, and how the sponsorship might work, to a detailed auditing of how I approached particular steps, to make sure that I came up to scratch.

I've since learned to back out as gracefully as possible when such scrutiny kicks in.

When I'm hungry, I eat the soup. If I trust the chef, I don't ask what's in the soup or fish things out of it and leave them on the side.

The course must be completed as it stands to take full, or sometimes any, effect.