A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden; the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. Suddenly their eyes chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them. "Would you tell me, please," said Alice, a little timidly, "why you are painting those roses?"Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began, in a low voice, "Why, the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and, if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to—" At this moment, Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out, "The Queen! The Queen!" and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps and Alice looked 'round, eager to see the Queen.
(Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland)
Lady Grantham: “You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.”
Mrs Crawley: “I take that as a compliment.”
Lady Grantham: “I must’ve said it wrong.”
(Downton Abbey)
When I look at reality, I sometimes don't like it. Here are the options:
1. Change it
This is applied in one case:
There are things that can and should be changed.
2. Don't change it
This is applied in three cases:
There are things that can but should not be changed. There are things that should but cannot be changed. There are things that cannot and should not be changed.
There is another option, arguably the worst of all: forcing change or giving the superficial appearance of change: this is the violence of overriding reality.
This can be attempting to reform someone who does not want to be reformed; this can be attempting to force change by attrition, guilt-tripping, manipulation, bullying, or violence, against the wishes of others, against sound reason, against future interests; this can be forcing compliance or obedience that lasts only as long as the pressure or surveillance; this can be giving a fraudulent impression of change by overriding reality's appearance: the white rose painted red is not thereby made a red rose.