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A talk on traditions in relationships ...

on February 01, 2024

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Labels: Relationships Traditions

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Service1 Step Two42 Step Two Proposition3 Step XII1 Step Zero5 Stories1 Stress1 Structure of the fellowship1 Study1 Sub-committee3 Success9 Suffering14 Suggestions7 Suicide1 Surrender93 Sympathy1 Take It Easy1 Teamaking1 Therapy2 There Is A Solution5 Thinking85 Thirteenth Step1 Thoroughly1 Three Legacies1 Three-fold1 Time1 Tips4 To Wives3 Tolerance14 Toxicity1 Tradition I20 Tradition II22 Tradition III7 Tradition IV17 Tradition IX17 Tradition V17 Tradition VI10 Tradition VII11 Tradition VIII5 Tradition X14 Tradition XI13 Tradition XII11 Traditions10 Treasury1 Triggers3 Troubles6 True from the false (cannot differentiate)1 Trust14 Truth15 Turning over3 Twelve & Twelve3 Twelve Step Fellowships4 Twelve Steps28 Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions3 Two-fold2 Unhappiness21 Unity3 Unmanageability27 Upset23 Urgency1 Usefulness3 Validation2 Values7 Victimhood37 Voting1 Vulnerability1 Wanting3 Wanting to stop1 Warranty IV2 Warranty V1 Warranty VI1 We Agnostics6 Willingness42 Willpower1 Withdrawal1 Work9 Workaholism2 Working the Steps13 Workshop packs4 World (the)5 Worry13 Young people and AA1 עברית7 ענווה1

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Step four, resentments, third column: so what?

In 1993, I wrote my first Fourth Step inventory. I was instructed to use the Big Book as the guide. I had a wonderful experience, and it changed my life. I remained confused, however, about the purpose of the third column of the resentment inventory. In this column, according to the Big Book, we are encouraged to write which area of 'self' is affected by a resentment. There are seven: pride, self-esteem, personal and sex relations, ambitions, security, and pocketbooks (= money). The Big Book then remains silent on the significance of the results—in other words what to 'do' with this information. The Fourth Step inventory is certainly effective, even without further work on this third column, as the suggestions on forgiveness on page 67 will be largely effective in removing most resentments, at least for the time being. I remained stuck, however, in double-digit sobriety, with resentments I could not get rid of and resentments that kept cropping up in diffe

Using page 68 to solve the fear problem

Page 68 of the Big Book : 'Perhaps there is a better way—we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns . Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us , and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity. We never apologise to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologise for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be . At once, we commence to outgrow fear.' The highlighted passages are the solution to fear. This is how to apply the solution: Fear What is my role? What wo

The evil and corroding thread

Fear. "This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble." (P. 67:2, 'Alcoholics Anonymous') Someone said to me yesterday: "whatever you reside in will manifest. If you reside in God, God will manifest; if you reside in fear, fear will manifest." Fear fear itself. There is a Jewish proverb, "to worry is a sin; the only permissible worry is that one worries." "Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?" (P. 76:1) To arrive at the conclusion that fear is objectionable (which is the prerequisite for asking for its removal with sufficient e

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