We commenced to make many fast friends and a fellowship has grown up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part. (Big Book)
I will remember that I go to Al-Anon for the instruction and emotional support I cannot find elsewhere. I will get help from others who understand my distress; I will ask for their guidance as to my own shortcomings which I may find difficult to recognize. I know I need not accept everything everyone says, but the thinking process it engenders will set me on the right path. (ODAT, April 6)
A candle won't stay lit if left out in a storm.
Build walls around it and a roof, and it will stay lit, with a little bit of attention.
Spiritual progress cannot be made in isolation. It requires me to have people around me in my life who are ahead of me in terms of application of the programme and have a sufficient relationship with a Higher Power to act as channels for spiritual strength and insight into where I'm going wrong.
What is love? It is not co-signing and mirroring. It's helping me to make progress. What does progress involve? Identifying and cutting away my character defects and developing levels of humility, service, and selflessness that go against the grain.
My problem is selfishness: whether acting as the classic bulldozer, materialist, or bully or in a more covert way: hurt, disappointed, upset, tired, or otherwise perceiving myself as the victim of circumstances, others, and others' behaviour.
A kind manner is welcome, but content is more important than manner. A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. But medicine is medicine. Sugar alone is not medicinal.