When faced with a request by an Al-Anon newcomer about 'what to do about their life'

What I did:

Take the Steps and complete them.

Study the Traditions and Concepts at great depth using all the materials available.

Adopt the pattern of daily living suggested by the Steps.

Deliberately apply the Traditions and Concepts to each situation that arose.

When I did this, I was able to answer my own questions, or, rather, the answers were self-evident, as the Higher Power spoke and I could hear.

Step Two talks about a restoration to sanity.

Until I took the Steps, I was insane, and it was no good trying to sort anything out.

I couldn't see my problem effectively, I couldn't express it effectively, I couldn't understand and implement anything that was suggested to me effectively.

Until the Steps were completed, all that was available to me in terms of my life was minimal firefighting, putting one foot in front of another, and minding my own business.

Regarding the firefighting, it required letting a sponsor get to know me very well, and, on the basis of that, I was able to adopt simple corrective and protective measures.