AA's are really easy to deal with. We're just selfish. Sure, we get in other people's way, we cause trouble, we don't think about our impact on others. But that's the point: we don't think about our impact on others. It's non-intrusive. Anons (e.g. Al-Anons), and I include myself in this, think very intensively about others, but in a disordered way. The behaviour is not only disruptive; it's intrusive, presumptuous, and patronising.
Here are some behaviour patterns I have exhibited:
The damsel in distress
This character takes a difficult situation, and presents it to someone else, bare bones, no analysis, incomplete picture. This then gives the other person a lot of work to do: the full picture must be assembled; the gaps must be filled in; the difficulty must be identified; and the solution must be worked out, to be delivered back to the damsel.
The top tip merchant
This character identifies what they think are others' needs, sensitivities, inclinations, difficulties, grievances, and other dynamic personal features, then tailors a solution for them. I have regularly received, quite out of the blue, a sales pitch for a spiritual activity from an acquaintance in recovery, who had made an awful lot of assumptions about my spiritual or religious life, challenges they imagined I must have, and my cultural and other tastes. Unsolicited book recommendations fall under this heading, as well.
The facilitator
This character busies themselves to make things easier for others. They'll tell someone the time of an event, then point out additionally that it is at lunchtime, on the assumption that their interlocutor will not realise that 12.30 p.m. is lunchtime.
The outsourcing rescuer
This, rather brilliant, character not only identifies person A's needs and, rather than leaving person A to meet their own needs, identifies person B who is the right person to fulfil those needs. Thus, giving person B person A's work to do, they have nothing to do themselves except broker the outsourcing. Win win win!