When I regard others' suffering, pity and compassion are due.
Following on from this, the right response is to ask what action, if any, I can take to assist the person.
My own tendency is to deny my own agency and contribution and to look to exernal causes to explain a situation I find myself in. The risk is projecting this attitude onto others' circumstances and wringing my hands at a world full of sheep and wolves.
Rather than excusing my own misbehaviour and errors yet holding others accountable, I seek to hold myself accountable whilst practising forgiveness of others' misbehaviour and errors.