AA meetings and groups generally run smoothly; AA sponsorship relationships generally run smoothly. Occasionally, they do not. I have jotted down some examples of disruptive behaviour which I have gotten up to over the years. To stop behaviour, I have to spot it, to spot it, I have to name it:
- Going above a sponsor's head to their sponsor to complain about the sponsor
- Playing different sponsors or advisors off against each other
- Briefing against a sponsor 'in fellowship' (on the phone, in the coffee shop)
- Briefing against a meeting, a group, a style of AA (e.g. 'Big Book AA'), or AA itself
- In my sharing, undermining the stated purpose of the group
- When sharing, having a go at the literature
- When sharing, having a go at the passage picked by a group member
- Cross-sharing (intemperately contradicting a previous share, explicitly or implicitly)
- Waiting till last to share so I can overturn everything that has been said so far
- Online: sending people messages to correct them when they don't share 'right'
- IRL: grabbing people after the meeting to correct them when they don't share 'right'
- Rabble-rousing against an individual, a meeting, a group, a service body, the GSO, or the GSB
- Forming a little we hate so-and-so club
- Forming structures outside the service structure to influence the service structure
- Encouraging others to cause trouble on my behalf (proxy warfare)
- Fomenting others' discontentment in AA, hoping they'll act on this
- Going to specific meetings to throw a spanner in the works
- Going to specific meetings to change them
- Going to specific meetings to get them to see the error of their ways
- Public displays of contention in inappropriate settings
- Disrupting meetings with noise, moving around, fussing with my chair, etc.
- Arriving late to make a point, usually with theatrical hellos and pantomime tiptoeing
- Leaving early to make a point, with or without muttering, flouncing, or a Parthian shot
- Being uncooperative with a sponsor, a meeting, a group, or a service body
- Being hostile, evasive, recalcitrant, or accusatory to someone who I have asked to help me
- Deliberately breaching group conscience decisions, the guidance from a meeting script, etc.
- Deliberately breaching the bounds of the authority delegated to me as a trusted servant
- Not doing the job I was asked to do or doing it in a slovenly, cavalier way
- Necessitating boundary-setting by a sponsor or group ...
- ... then portraying myself as ill-treated
- Behaving so inappropriately someone halts the interaction or blocks me
- ... then portraying myself as ill-treated
- Using spiritual or AA principles to justify why my actions should not have consequences
- Bullying individuals or groups to behave differently on behalf of others, e.g. newcomers
- Claiming that practices I dislike will put newcomers off or, worse, kill newcomers
- Claiming to be the mouthpiece of unnamed aggrieved persons too shy to speak up
- Using emotional blackmail to retain people in my orbit for me to continue mistreating them
- Threatening to leave AA, drink again, or commit suicide to manipulate others to act as I see fit
None of these are helpful, and I largely avoid these.