To want something presupposes I lack something.
To want also literally means to lack.
To lack is to be in illusion.
Remove the illusion and the want disappears.
To be grateful implies a past lack and its fulfilment.
If there was no lack, the fulfilment is an illusion.
To want implies there's a me over here and a thing over there.
The wanting and the wanted.
And the thing is supposed to fit the gap inside me.
Except it doesn't.
Because there is no gap, in reality.
So the thing cannot fit a non-existent gap.
When I want a person, I'm implying they'll fit the gap.
They won't, because there is no gap.
But, if I perceive the gap, and they don't fit it, ...
... that will then be their fault.
No wonder almost every relationship turns bitter.
Almost every relationship fails to deliver.
Because it's incapable of delivering.
Wanting is a form of attack.
It says:
"When I get you, I will still be empty.
And that will be your fault."
I get to be distinct but offload my guilt ...
... which is the price of distinction.
Wanting is a way of shifting the guilt for my emptiness
... onto you.
Gratitude: likewise.
The thing I'm grateful for is the thing restored.
Because I think it was stolen.
It was mine, you took it, and now you've given it back.
Have you noticed that all feelings of gratitude pass?
You're grateful that the washing-machine has been mended.
How grateful are you six months later?
The mending did not fix you.
Gratitude, too, is a form of attack.
What's the answer?
***
Maybe:
Dissolution into the moment.
There is no I to do the wanting.
There no I to do the gratefulling.
There is only everything.
But everything isn't only anything.
Because only implies there is something more.
So there is absolutely everything.
***
I am not a grain of sand.
I am the universe.