'Turning to an alcoholic for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread.' (Courage to Change, January 2)
Before Al-Anon: I was a sucking vortex of need.
I was not OK as I was, on my own.
I was given a lot of love but could not receive it.
The problem was not a lack of food.
The problem was my lack of digestive system.
What did I need?
Constant attention, constant praise, constant validation, constant reassurance.
If people didn't bend over backwards to make me feel special, I was not OK.
And I then made sure they were not OK, either.
The hardware-store-and-bread analogy works both ways, too.
People come to me for humanity and get surveillance, monitoring, interference, intrusion, complaining, and demands.
What do people want? Mostly space.
Today I have very little in the way of needs.
Physical space. Quiet. An occupation. A livelihood. Noise-cancelling headphones. Really good earplugs. Double-glazing. Phone. Computer. WiFi.
And the guidance from smart people on how to find inner resources.
Those are the only resources there really are.