How to avoid being sponsored effectively #3

I met someone last year who consistently failed to do what is set out below, and, despite himself, he recovered. In order to avoid the same sorry fate, consistently apply any or all of these, and you'll successfully obstruct the sponsorship and, therefore, change and recovery:

1. If your sponsor asks you to do something, express profusely your intention to do precisely what they have asked, because that will keep them off your back for a good few days or even weeks.

2. Do just enough to avoid being discharged, but not so much that you get well.

3. If an instruction comes down the pike, read it very quickly and cursorily to make sure it's misunderstood. If anything is genuinely ambiguous, interpret it in the direction of doing less or nothing.

4. Alternatively, profess confusion about the instruction, argue with it, or otherwise temporise. Maybe even counteroffer a modified or even an entirely different instruction and start implementing that instead.

5. If you do follow an instruction, follow it late, and make sure it's one-quarter-complete and shoddy.

6. In particular, with written work, use poor grammar, spelling, layout, presentation, and punctuation. Don't, whatever you do, exercise the same diligence as you would when applying for a job or filling out a benefits form. Avoid rereading or checking. Just send it.

7. Consider making very big changes to your life or otherwise get you into sticky situations that 'require' discussion. Such discussions divert the sponsor's attention away from what you're not doing.

8. If you accidentally speak to your sponsor, divert the conversation swiftly onto your emotions and insist that these be adequately addressed before you will do any step work.

9. When the sponsor points out that you're not doing what you committed to, cite 'progress not perfection' and other passages from the Big Book, and say how hard-working and misunderstood you are. If you assert it boldly enough, it becomes true.

10. Rather than doing the work, explain why you're not, preferably at great length. Cite: other 'responsibilities', emotions, ignorance or misunderstanding of the instructions, incompetence, confusion, difficulties getting hold of people to help you, how well you're doing other things, etc.

11. Periodically ghost your sponsor. Make sure you don't blue-tick the WhatsApp messages, because then they'll know you've read them. If they're not blue-ticked, they might think you've not received the communication and will conclude you're doing your best based on your current information.

12. If all else fails, you're painted into a corner, and there is nothing for it but to follow the clear suggestions, express how put-upon you are, and flounce out of the deal.