I've spent whole chunks of my life being negatively obsessed with myself, 'people, places, and things', along with numerous other forms of catastrophisation.
The pattern can be broken, but it needs to be dealt with systematically.
First, some principles. If I've worked very hard to build an obsession by, effectively, meditating on the subject matter, I've trained my mind to be preoccupied with it. I've literally built neutral pathways. These need to be decommissioned, and eventually the neutral material is repurposed. But I have to do the work as consistently as I did to build the obsession in the first place.
How long does this take? The acute period: three months. Long-term recovery: another further nine months. A year is usually enough. These timings are very approximate, but you get the idea. It should be noted that the improvement over this time is gradual, and that breakthroughs become apparent within hours or days.
But, rather like with giving up cigarettes, smoking for a day sets the process back considerably. The process of healing does not start until the following method is applied consistently, every day.
Half-hearted or intermittent effort will fail completely. This is all or nothing.
The basics
There must be absolute commitment to:
(1) The idea that the obsession is insane, and its content, without merit. This work must be done thoroughly. The subject matter has to be swiftly unpicked with an 'adult'. Whether the problem is being unlucky in 'love', work anxieties, global warming, getting thin, the left, the right, ageing, 'the government', homophobia, the Catholic Church, or Sally, the position must be adopted that, even if there are little grains of truth on which the whole structure is based, the mental landscape is bloated, distorted, and entirely without utility. Even if something matters, the obsessed person is in no fit position to help with the cause, however noble, So give it up, Louise, you're just another wounded soldier on the cart.
It should be noted that, if the obsession is benign, we don't need to be having this conversation. Possibly for neurological reasons, there might be an obsession, say, with the Eurovision Song Contest, trains, or Italian cooking, that is actually beneficial in holding the person together. The obsession might be 'excessive' in some people's eyes, but, as long as it brings joy and causes no problems, have at it. We have no interest in disturbing those. Obsessive activities are in a different order than obsessions of the mind.
(2) Working a solid programme. This includes:
- Being committed to the absolute and utter destruction of self
- Attending a shedload of meetings
- Planning the day with God
- Doing a daily review
- Prioritising stepwork (1+ hour per day, 2+ on non-working days)
- Practising formal meditation several times a day
- Running through the daily review with two other people
- Filling downtime or other in-between times with spiritual reading and listening
- Sponsoring lots of people
- Doing lots of service
- Prepping or scouting for sponsorship or service
- Other volunteering or 'going above and beyond' at work
- Generally being a super-surrendered servant of God
This is all necessary to ensure that the commitment is firm and that there is a sufficient substitute.
The method
Do not think about the subject-matter of the obsession.
Now, the obsession will knock at the door the whole time, asking to be let in. Do not.
If you accidentally let it in, boot it out and reset yourself.
Don't worry that you can hear it caterwauling in the background: it will be 'felt' as a presence for some time. This does not matter. It's what you do with the conscious mind that matters.
What you do with the conscious mind eventually filters down into the unconscious.
The chief weapon in this is blocking. How do you block?
Memorise prayers (long ones, which take more than 30 seconds to say, preferably a couple of minutes or more). Any religion can provide you with many opportunities. Memorise poems or even songs to sing. Psalms are a good place to start, particularly those that visualise God destroying enemies, where those enemies are actually your own negative thoughts.
The content must be content that neutralises the content of the obsession, i.e. must not reinforce unhappiness, bitterness, or self in any way.
The prayers, poems, or songs must be full of imagery and colourful.
Once these are memorised, launch them at the incoming thought until it abates. This can take some time.
It's important to have a few at your disposal so you can switch them up.
Practise active visualisation of the imagery in the prayers, poems, or songs.
And then turn your thoughts to the action at hand and dissolve yourself in the service of God through constructive action, 24 hours a day.
Does this work?
Yes. I've been doing this for 30 years, and I still occasionally have to redeploy the above.
I spent most of my first year of recovery singing Suzanne Vega songs as I walked down the street. I had about 10 memorised, and I successfully used these songs to block out obsessive suicidal ideation and catastrophisation.
My mind will always be prone to negative obsession, but the above method has always worked.
It should be stressed, however, that the above is a package deal. If there is any hole in the bucket, the liquid drains out.