I've just observed my thirtieth sober Christmas.
The last drunk one was a fiasco of a bottle of gin, a bottle of Cointreau, and retreating to my room with a 'headache' (truer than I intended), because I couldn't even.
How do you get to your thirtieth sober Christmas?
Well, I was trying to get sober for three years before I did get sober, and so we have something of a control group, or a without-a-programme and with-a-programme comparison.
What worked was this:
1. I joined AA. I really joined. A gazillion meetings, sitting in the front row. Hand up to share every single time. Volunteering to do service every single time. Going out for coffee every single time. Reading AA literature on the underground or bus. Calling AA people the whole time.
2. Doing the steps effectively and efficiently with a no-nonsense sponsor who recognised—as did I—that my life was on the line, and there wasn't a moment to lose.
3. Once I'd done that, which took a few months, starting to sponsor others into doing the same and getting involved in service.
4. I still run through the Steps once a quarter, to keep the decks cleared. Because there's not a lot amiss any more, it does not take long, as the past is resolved and I pay attention in between runs. But this stops the spiritual limescale building up and clogging the pipes. It keeps the channel clear.
5. My life is centred on service, within the outside the fellowship.
I was stuck in self, which was painful and boring.
I'm no longer stuck in self. I can't be bothered with self. I've discovered that my needs, which are frankly few, are perfectly taken care of by being of use in the world and exercising some prudence, and that my wants are neither here nor there. The world delivers itself to me, and that's more than enough. I have no business wanting. I want for nothing.