Do alcoholics drink to excess because they are unhappy, disconnected, discontented, restless, irritable, or discontent? The answer is very clearly no.
I do not hold with those who believe that alcoholism is entirely a problem of mental control. I have had many men who had, for example, worked a period of months on some problem or business deal which was to be settled on a certain date, favourably to them. They took a drink a day or so prior to the date, and then the phenomenon of craving at once became paramount to all other interests so that the important appointment was not met. These men were not drinking to escape; they were drinking to overcome a craving beyond their mental control. (The Doctor’s Opinion)
In this example, the phenomenon of craving kicks in despite the fact that it will bring immediate consequences. The gentleman was fine until the desire to drink hit, he drank, and the drink kicked in.
If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic’s drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can’t feel the ache. If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk. (There Is A Solution)
Note the use of the word alibi: the desire for relief is the excuse, the rationalisation, but not the real reason. Why? Because the reasoning is flawed.
This is made clear in the next paragraph:
Once in a while he may tell the truth. And the truth, strange to say, is usually that he has no more idea why he took that first drink than you have. Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. (There Is A Solution)
Any reason the individual gives is simply untrue. Nothing really stacks up.
His physical and mental condition were unusually good. Above all, he believed he had acquired such a profound knowledge of the inner workings of his mind and its hidden springs that relapse was unthinkable. Nevertheless, he was drunk in a short time. More baffling still, he could give himself no satisfactory explanation for his fall. (There Is A Solution)
Here, the character is well. Yet he drinks.
So he returned to this doctor, whom he admired, and asked him point-blank why he could not recover. He wished above all things to regain self-control. He seemed quite rational and well-balanced with respect to other problems. (There Is A Solution)
His drinking is irrational. This means that any given reason is not the real reason.
The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. (More About Alcoholism)
Here is the notion at the core of the mental obsession: I will get the prize (enjoy) but not have to pay the price (control). This is an illusion: the price outweighs the prize.
He made up his mind that until he had been successful in business and had retired, he would not touch another drop. An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career. Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has—that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men. Out came his carpet slippers and a bottle. (More About Alcoholism)
This gentleman, also, is successful and happy. He believes, wrongly, that drinking is safe, and drinks.
This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish. (More About Alcoholism)
The true nature of alcoholism can be concealed by the mental state of the alcoholic. Whilst the alcoholic is in an early phase of alcoholism, drinking may appear to be in line with the individual’s will (even if the individual wishes to be happy, stable, and successful, but drink is wreaking havoc). However, in a later stage, the alcoholic recognises he needs to stay sober and wants to stay sober but cannot. We do not drink because we want to. We drink even though we don’t want to.
Then I decided to drive into the country and see one of my prospects for a car. On the way I felt hungry so I stopped at a roadside place where they have a bar. I had no intention of drinking. I just thought I would get a sandwich. I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a car at this place, which was familiar for I had been going to it for years. I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. I sat down at a table and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk. Still no thought of drinking. I ordered another sandwich and decided to have another glass of milk. “Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn’t hurt me on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey and poured it into the milk. I vaguely sensed I was not being any too smart, but felt reassured as I was taking the whiskey on a full stomach. The experiment went so well that I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. That didn’t seem to bother me so I tried another.” (More About Alcoholism)
Jim is not drinking because he is unhappy. He is drinking (a) because the thought occurs to him to drink and (b) there is no mental defence.
But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. (More About Alcoholism)
Again, the ostensible reason for the first drink is not the real reason: it’s the excuse. The excuse is trivial. The excuse is insane. Any sentence that starts ‘I drank because ...’ (following by presentations of emotion or circumstances) is about to introduce a trivial, insane alibi and excuse, not the real reason.
The fact that alcoholics think they drink because of circumstances or emotion is even addressed directly by the book:
In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be. (More About Alcoholism)
Again, the justification is insanely insufficient. It is not the reason. It is the surface rationalism. Relapse has nothing to do with nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy, etc.
Physically, I felt fine. Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. My business came off well, I was pleased and knew my partners would be too. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon. I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. (More About Alcoholism)
Fred is fine physically, mentally, and emotionally. But he drinks.
There is one piece of evidence that appears to confound this:
They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drink. (The Doctor’s Opinion)
This appears to suggest that alcoholics have the first drink because they are unhappy. This is one possibility, but it contradicts the material set out above. The sequence is rather this: I would, on occasion, be feeling reasonably OK, then the thought of a drink would occur to me, and I would immediately be plunged into a state of restlessness, irritability, and discontentment until I drank. The mental obsession with alcohol was causing the restlessness, irritability, and discontentment, not the other way round. This is also a qualitatively different feeling than the general unhappiness caused by selfishness, self-centeredness, and other manifestations of self. This is why people can stay sober for years on the latter form of unhappiness but can stay sober only minutes or hours on the former. The latter is not connected with drink; the former is.
It should be noted, however, that this is the one relevant passage on the subject written by a non-alcoholic. The other passages were all written by Bill Wilson. Dr Silkworth’s chief contribution concerned the physical craving, not the mental obsession.
Why do alcoholics drink?
Firstly, the thought of drinking will occur to alcoholics, because they are alcoholics. Full stop. No reason. Ask anyone who is sober ten, twenty, thirty years about the circumstances in which the thought of a drink has occurred to them. It may be in a period of high emotion but is more likely to be out of the blue. Walking along the street. Shopping in a supermarket. At dinner with friends. Perfectly normal setting. No trigger.
Secondly, there is a failure of the mental defence. Let’s look at what a successful defence looks like:
Save for a few brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity. (We Agnostics)
Note that the defence is visceral (‘a great revulsion has risen up in him’). It is not the result of a process of reasoning.
If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. (Into Action)
Again, the defence is beyond thought and effort. It does not come from the thinking mind. It supervenes upon the spiritual awakening. It does not operate separately. The spiritual awakening provides a shield.
Lastly, let’s look at Chapter 11:
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was the old, insidious insanity—that first drink. With a shiver, he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar. But what about his responsibilities—his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.
Note the order: (1) The desire to drink arises (2) He shivers and walks away (3) Rational thinking is restored.
To sum up: in alcoholics, the desire to drink will continue to arise periodically even once we are recovered. It is not arising for any reason other than we are alcoholics. Once it arises, whether we drink and die or live depends on one thing only: whether we are in the hands of God at that moment.
Finally, consider the three instances of ‘utterly’:
- In the doctor’s judgment he was utterly hopeless (The Doctors’ Opinion)- Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. (We Agnostics)- We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him. (How It Works)
The answer is simple: To abandon myself utterly to Him.