Sometimes the Al-Anon literature counsels mentally separating the alcoholic from the alcoholism, loving the alcoholic, and hating the alcoholism.
This won't do, for a couple of reasons.
It might give you a method of dealing with alcoholics, but you're still left with jerks and basically any behaviour of other people or the world generally that does not match the script.
It also involves a great deal of judgement. We've got to discern what is alcoholism and what is not. That's always speculative and questionable and will drive you nutso.
Also, shifting the resentment from the alcoholic onto this abstract thing called alcoholism is simply projecting the resentment onto a new screen. That's not a solution.
So, what do I do?
Well, I develop compassion for people by recognising that they're often, if not usually, not very well, and driven by all sorts of things, including alcoholism. If there is misbehaviour, they might also be ignorant, dumb, illogical, irrational, emotional, selfish, or just plain unwell (including mean, which is a form of unwell. Well people aren't mean.) That's just the material world. Nothing to be done about it. I don't need to hate it. It's like the lymphatic system or clouds. Phenomena, that's it. So there's nothing to resent; nothing to hate; no surprises.
In other words, I can accept anything with equanimity, because what ever happens is liable to happen. That's why it's happening. If it wasn't liable to happen, it wouldn't happen. Everything is therefore part of the design. Nothing has gone wrong. The tin contains what it says on the tin. The destination is printed clearly on the ticket. The wheels of the world are turning. That's all that is happening. The kaleidoscope is a closed system, but no two images are identical.
How do I deal with the behaviour practically?
Well, I can withdraw in a thousand ways. Go somewhere else. Do something else. Be with someone else. Or put up with it. My choice. You can occasionally get them to stop doing something, start doing something, or do something differently, but don't hold your breath.
... there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.