People can be manipulative. How do I know? Because I can be manipulative, too.
The chief means of manipulation is burying covert messages below overt messages.
How do you deal with this?
1. Adopt the most charitable possible interpretation. This means: they may be unconscious of what they're doing, so be kind anyway.
2. Respond to the surface contribution, not the hidden message. This forces the person to articulate the content of the hidden message they want a response to, thus taking responsibility for it.
This always flushes the bullshit up to the surface, or they take it elsewhere.
If they're seriously taking the piss, ignore.