Here's an excerpt from the film This Is 40.
Jodi deploys every tactic to evade responsibility and entangle Debbie. I have been Jodi, many times, and I have been Debbie, many times.
See if you can spot the following techniques deployed by Jodi:
- Undermining your interlocutor
- Accusation
- Disparaging a third party
- Denial of manifest truth
- Turning questions back on the interlocutor
- Changing the subject
- Diversion onto trivial details
- Evasion / chasing round the farmyard
- Moving the goalposts repeatedly
- Eliciting pity
- Begging
- Self-infantilisation
- Babbling
- Paranoia
- Attack
By contrast, Debbie has a go, but she has boundaries, as well, and knows when she's out of her depth. Be like Debbie.
[Debbie is talking to Jodi, who is crying.]
JODI: Why the fuck would you believe Desi?
DEBBIE: You just admitted it.
JODI: Did I?
DEBBIE: You stole twelve thousand dollars from me, Jodi, and I need you to pay me back.
JODI: Can you at least give me a referral?
DEBBIE: You babysat my kids while you were on OxyContin.
JODI: Oxycodone
DEBBIE: Well, Oxycodone.
JODI: Oxycotton.
DEBBIE: OxyContin?
JODI: Oxykitten.
DEBBIE: What’s Oxykitten?
JODI: Meow.
DEBBIE: Jodi, you put me in danger. Me and my family.
JODI: It was a cry for help. Help. [In gurgling voice] Help. Why don’t you help me? [Even more infantile] Why don’t you help me? Just help. Help. [Incomprehensible infantile gurgling] Why don’t you help me?
DEBBIE: Are you high right now?
JODI: [In possessed child voice from The Exorcist] Help me.
[DEBBIE’s phone buzzes.]
JODI: Is that about me? Is that the cops? Is this a set-up?
DEBBIE: I need to go.
JODI: Okay, see you later. [In possessed child voice from The Exorcist] Fuck you, DEBBIE. Fuck. You.
DEBBIE: You just admitted it.
JODI: Did I?
DEBBIE: You stole twelve thousand dollars from me, Jodi, and I need you to pay me back.
JODI: Can you at least give me a referral?
DEBBIE: You babysat my kids while you were on OxyContin.
JODI: Oxycodone
DEBBIE: Well, Oxycodone.
JODI: Oxycotton.
DEBBIE: OxyContin?
JODI: Oxykitten.
DEBBIE: What’s Oxykitten?
JODI: Meow.
DEBBIE: Jodi, you put me in danger. Me and my family.
JODI: It was a cry for help. Help. [In gurgling voice] Help. Why don’t you help me? [Even more infantile] Why don’t you help me? Just help. Help. [Incomprehensible infantile gurgling] Why don’t you help me?
DEBBIE: Are you high right now?
JODI: [In possessed child voice from The Exorcist] Help me.
[DEBBIE’s phone buzzes.]
JODI: Is that about me? Is that the cops? Is this a set-up?
DEBBIE: I need to go.
JODI: Okay, see you later. [In possessed child voice from The Exorcist] Fuck you, DEBBIE. Fuck. You.
Link to the video here.