Once a person has had a spiritual awakening, in a sense they are home dry, but:
There will be alluring shortcuts and by-paths down which they may wander and lose their way. (Big Book)
Here are some of the shortcuts and by-paths I have gone down (or in some cases seen others go down). I managed to find my way back each time. Sometimes only just. All of them lead to a drink sooner or later. Here are the first eleven:
The Ahab
Captain Ahab was a whaler whose nemesis was a great white whale. What's a white whale? The issue I won't face, the particular attachment, resentment, fear, or behaviour I persist in, unable to defeat it, and unwilling to give up and give it to God.
The Bleeding Deacon
The Bleeding Deacon is always finding fault with how the group is run, the chief critic rather than the member. He stands aloof, taking pot shots at the fellowship. 'AA has gone to hell,' he says.
The Ecclesiastic
The Ecclesiastic worships AA structures rather than God: lineages, conferences, conventions, 'strong groups', 'strong sponsorship', 'discipline', the liturgy of the readings. None of these are bad in themselves, but they're ladders to God, not God Himself.
The Graduate
Fond of the phrase 'Spiritual Kindergarten' (unfortunately used by Bill W, but with a different sense than that given by the Graduate), he believes he has outgrown AA, the need for trusted advisors, the need for inventory, etc., because he has seen spiritual truth in a particular religious practice or a psychedelic experience, or has 'progressed' into psychology, sociology, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, or other disciplines as a substitute for the simplistic and inadequate programme of AA (as he sees it).
The Gravestone
The Gravestone shows no signs of life but tells us about past glories: the inventory from twenty years ago, the spiritual awakening from thirty.
The Lawyer
The Lawyer is obsessed with right and wrong, laws, rules, regulations, procedures, and 'Traditions Violations', and is closely allied to the Legislator, the CCTV Camera, the Police Officer, the Public Prosecutor, the Judge, the Prison Warden, and the Executioner.
The Materialist
The Materialist uses spirituality, if at all, to decorate an essentially material life: 'It's just about action: there's nothing to get, there are only things to do'; in extreme forms, work, material success, money, physical appearance, a 'social life', and other material trappings become the primary purpose.
The Pensioner
The Pensioner dozes but doesn't participate much. He leaves the kids to do everything. He's had his turn.
The Renegade
The Renegade balks severely at inventory, especially written inventory, and recognises the authority of neither man nor God. Now, sponsors do not have authority in the ordinary sense, but they are, by definition, further ahead on the same level. They know what's coming. The Renegade pooh-poohs this. He ploughs his own furrow. Closely related to the Maverick and the Heretic.
The Teenager
The Teenager is suspicious, guarded, and hostile towards responsibility. He's after kicks and thrills, and the programme is boring.
The Titanic
The Titanic was thought invincible in part because of its compartmentalised hull system, with strong bulkheads between compartments. The Titanic believes he can act out in one area without any ensuing hull breach affecting other areas. That's not how it worked or works, however.
Lastly, there is a final category, which is not problematical per se, but is the rock on which many vessels have foundered and broken up:
The Professional
The Professional splits out into the Academic, the Therapist, the Interventionist, the Life Coach, and the Treatment Professional. Now, these can obviously be perfectly legitimate and God-led avenues for endeavour, provided that Tradition Eight is fully observed, and not one ounce of energy or attention is thereby redirected from actual twelfth-step work, fellowship, and service, and no sense of being in a class apart arises.
So, what's the solution?
Keeping the main thing the main thing
What's the main thing?
- Daily inventory
- Periodic inventory
- Sponsorship
- A ton of meetings
- Fellowship with peers
- Lots of sponsorship
- Twelfth-Stepping
- Service
- Prayer and meditation
- Complete surrender to God's will
But beneath that is the foundation, which I have adopted:
I accept the AA way of life (Bill's original title for As Bill Sees It), lock, stock, and barrel. It is good, and it is right for me, and I shall just get on with it as best I can.