The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life
run on self-will
can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with
something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to
live by self-propulsion.
… Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. … He may be kind, considerate,
patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he
may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is
more likely to have varied traits.
He decides to exert himself more. … He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. … Is
he not really a self-seeker
even when trying to be kind?
Our actor is self-centered—ego-centric, as people like
to call it nowadays. … Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned
with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?
Selfishness—self-centeredness!
… Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and
self-pity,
we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us,
seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the
past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position
to be hurt.
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme
example of self-will
run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics
must be rid of this selfishness.
We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way
of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. … Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness
much by wishing or trying on our own power.
…
We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as
we understood Him: “God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do
with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may
better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear
witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May
I do Thy will always!” We thought well before taking this step making sure we
were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.