Falling through the ice

We have no satisfactory mental defence against the first drink. This means that, when the impulse to drink arises, which it will, because alcoholism is never fully eradicated, the mental defence kicks in to stop us sometimes, but not every single time.

There needs to be a different operating system: the God operating system.

The ego operating system operates thus: I do what I want when I want. And if what I want to do is drink, I will drink, because it's me coming up with the idea. This might be modulated by all sorts of apparently more sophisticated reasoning of balancing up the pros and cons, but the yardstick is still my perception of my best interests.

The God operating system involves:

- Asking God (not the ego) what to fill my mind with
- Asking God (not the ego) what to fill my day with it.

It means turning my thought life and schedule over to God.

Once this is activated, through following the Programme, its Principles, Prayer, and the People who I trust, a fifth P, Power, is activated, in the form of direction as to the right action to take, and then the strength to carry it out.

That Power constitutes the spiritual defence. If I am operating in accordance with this system, impulses bounce off like dried peas against a wall. I would no more drink than I would punch someone, shoplift, or bunk off work early. This is what the Book means when it says we let God discipline us.

How can I tell that this spiritual defence defence is not operative?

If my thought life is not led by God (i.e. I permit any negativity whatsoever to linger) or my schedule is not led by God (i.e. I'm off on what lawyers refer to as a 'frolic of my own': in law, if an employee is not authorised to perform a certain act, the employer is not vicariously liable for the consequences).

If my thought life and my schedule are not led by God, they are led by the ego, which means God is no longer liable for me, and I am without protection. If the impulse to drink arises in such a state, I am lucky if I do not drink.

When the impulse arises, if I am in an ego state, it is too late to activate the God operating system, and by virtue of the fact that I am in an ego state, I will not want to activate the God operating system.

Once you realise you're falling through the ice, it is too late: there is nothing to grab hold of.

The only answer is to be a humble servant of God, twenty-four hours a day.