I have been asking for and offering help in AA for three decades or so, and I have distilled below what I have learned about how best to ask others for help.
Be prepared to follow the helper's protocol. This will include the 'when', the 'how', the 'what', and the 'where' of the conversation. I've been instructed, variously, to turn up at someone's house the following Tuesday at 2.45 in the afternoon (I had to take time off work), fly to San Antonio, call at very specific times (not a minute earlier, not a minute later), write preliminary inventory, or prepare a list of questions, and I've followed these instructions without hesitation or question.
I do not box in the helper from the get-go: I do not say, 'Do you have five minutes?' (or similar). I may think the problem will take five minutes; the helper may take quite a different view. If they have only five minutes, I let them discern and communicate that.
I expect to be asked questions, maybe lots of them, and I am prepared to answer questions on even apparently unrelated topics. When answering, I am candid, complete, and concise. The helper needs this to be able to assess the question I (think I) have.
I will often frame the problem and question as I see it, and maybe even the answer I am looking for, in fact I may be asked to do this, but I am prepared for the helper to reframe any or all of these.
I do not obstruct this reframing process. If any old idea is clung to, progress may be impossible. In fact, the reason why there is a problem in the first place is likely to be precisely the old idea that is being clung to.
Examples of old ideas may even include which fellowship I belong to or attend, which Twelve-Step programme I am working, how I understand Step One applies to my problem or problems, what God is, or any other apparently fundamental features of my programme and life.
If I trust the person I am asking help from, I will trust unexpected input as much as expected input. If I am not as open to unexpected input as expected input, I'm asking the wrong person. Good help is almost invariably from left field.
If I'm disappointed or irked by the input, I wasn't looking for help; I was looking for an adopted position to be co-signed.
Asking follow-up questions is fine in principle, but resisting or arguing will not do; I am aware that most questions, however, are actually forms of resistance, particularly if the input consists in a suggested course of action. The appropriate answer to input is almost invariably, 'Thank you. I will try that,' (or similar).
I avoid the temptation to re-explain the original question. If the helper has provided an unexpected answer, they have understood the original question quite well, thank you very much, yet gone way beyond it. The reason the answer is asymmetrical to the question is not (usually) because the helper is slow-witted or not paying attention.
Finally, I remember that all help is helpful. Even help that appears not to be helpful is helpful. I avoid the patronising 'Thanks for trying to help' (suggesting I have an intractable problem beyond the wit of the helper), and I certainly avoid reproaching the helper for not helping in the envisaged manner or expressing 'sadness' or 'disappointment'. I may well be disappointed, but that's my business, not their problem. The help is being offered for fun and for free, and the individual has taken time out of their day to respond. Help is freely offered but is not the satisfaction of an entitlement.
If the situation completely misfires, which can happen for many reasons, I back out gracefully.