My reminders to myself about sharing

Ask God to guide my intention, thinking, and words.

Read the room: who is there and why?

Be generally prepared for what I'm doing to say before I say it.

But don't rehearse or over-specify.

If notes help, use them. If they don't, don't.

Pitch at the hardest-to-reach person in the room.

Pitch at newcomers who know little or nothing.

Pitch at established members who are drifting or lost.

No jargon.

No coded language.

No assumptions at to what people know.

No in-jokes; in-references.

Speak the language of the fellowship I'm attending.

Leave other hats at the door (but OK to mention in passing).

Steer clear of recovery hot potatoes.

Steer clear of politics, religion, medicine, and other outside issues.

I can never keep it too simple, too basic.

Thank the speaker simply and avoid flattery.

Don't give the speaker feedback.

Don't build my share around the speaker's share.

Let it begin with me.

If there is no speaker, thank whoever made the meeting possible.

Say I not we.

Establish identification with the problem (alcoholism, anonism, etc.)

Set out the solution followed.

Reference relevant literature.

Describe the result.

Steer away from unsolved problems. Instead: listen, or share about a solved problem.

Steer away from current medical or psychiatric problems.

Don't share about me; share about the programme and use myself as the example.

I'm not here to get current or update the room on my life.

Instead: carry the message of the fellowship I'm in.

Acknowledge that others do things differently, and that's fine.

Say something's right for me: but not necessarily right for everyone.

OK to pick up on something someone said as a starting point.

But no crosstalk; no calling out; no shoutouts.

If I want to say, 'I don't want to crosstalk, but ...': change the subject.

If I'm heated, pick a neutral topic or keep my mouth entirely shut.

No bragging about wealth, position, education, ability, or achievement.

Give credit where credit is due: Twelve Steps, the fellowship, God.

No socioeconomic positioning.

No political positioning.

Biographical details: only where necessary for context.

If I slip up, keep going: don't collapse into mumbling, apology, or amusement at myself.

Don't laugh at my own jokes, especially if no one else is laughing.

Don't give a running commentary on my share during the share.

Keep digressions to minimum.

Avoid digressions within digressions.

Make one point well rather than eight points badly.

If in doubt, speak more slowly, not more quickly.

Humility is being right-sized: not too big, not too small.

Don't strut; don't shrink.

Don't parade harshness as a virtue; tone down not up.

Stick to the facts and avoid exaggeration or caricature.

Be respectful and compassionate when speaking about one's prior self.

Never present an earlier version of oneself as dumb, vile, sly, or fake.

When I'm rambling, stop: no need to say I'm rambling.

When I'm talking rubbish, stop: no need to say I'm talking rubbish.

Don't tell listeners how to take what I'm saying.

If I run out of things to say, stop: 2, 3, 4, or 5 minutes is a cap not a target.

Stop before I'm signalled to stop.

If I'm signalled to stop, complete the point in ten seconds and stop.

If there is no time limit, share like there is.