The key idea is this:
Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others.
Have a small committee to make sure the group runs properly.
Start on time.
End on time.
Have someone make tea.
Have a short, simple script.
Have a literature-based topic cycle.
Otherwise: keep the organisation minimal.
Then let all hell break loose.
What does that mean?
Let people share what they want.
Have a timekeeper to alert people uniformly when they've hit the limit (3 to 4 minutes is good).
That single constraint forefends a dozen other problems that might develop, and neatly serves as the only necessary guardrail.
Otherwise, lead by example, and let that be enough, in all areas of meeting attendance and group running.
No educating, regulating, controlling, fixing, changing, micro-managing; no rules; no dress-code; no system to follow. Nothing. Maximal simplicity. Minimal organisation. Lightest possible touch. Leave things be. Hold any type of business or group conscience meeting only when absolutely necessary, and keep them as short, straightforward, and cordial as possible. Break the silence only when words improve it. Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said right now? What would happen if we did absolutely nothing? Keep proposals to a minimum. Keep tweaks to a minimum. Change only what absolutely must be changed. Deal only with what cannot be deferred. Keep the focus on recovering ourselves, not on managing the group. God's in charge, silently working through our example. The group does not need to be managed.
To tame wild horses, wild horses have to feel comfortable. That means they get to be themselves.
Unrecovered (and sometimes recovered) alcoholics (I include myself in the description that follows) can be eccentric, disagreeable, badly behaved, and a thousand other things.
Let them.
They will be rude, critical, unreliable, inconsistent, and a thousand other things.
Let them.
If crazy people feel free to be themselves at your group, without monitoring, policing, reminding, nagging, cajoling, or other attempts to channel, teach, train, rear, or otherwise bring them in line, they'll come back, call it home, and eventually get well.
So what does real tolerance of other people's shortcomings really mean?
It means not reacting; not responding; keeping my mouth shut; grinding no axes; having no agenda; and leaving the group to deal with any material issues through the group conscience. It means suffering my own reactions to other people, without seeking to secure relief for myself by arguing, retaliating, punishing, controlling, or otherwise shifting the discomfort from me to them. The most I can legitimately do is withdraw myself from a situation that is tense and redirect attention to the group conscience. Patience, in terms of its word history, literally means suffering. When I look at my own suffering elicited by others' shortcomings, I get to see what needs to be changed in me: and then change it.
To quote the Just For Today card:
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.