With my sponsor, I stick to Steps, Traditions, Concepts, and spiritual principles and how to apply these to particular problems arising in my life.
Forms of acting out I avoid bringing into interactions with a sponsor:
When tempted to abase myself, self-deprecate, self-criticise, or express other forms of insecurity or self-loathing, I recognise this is a character defect raised to the level of a hobby: the pig wallowing in mud. Instead, I say the Step Seven prayer, for instance, affirm the presence of God within me enabling me to do whatever is required, and get on with it.
When reluctant, resistant, half-hearted, or avoidant with regard to the suggested actions, I shake myself up, recall my active alcoholism and other addictions, recall the gift of sobriety and abstinence, reaffirm my Step Three decision, and assemble myself fully on the side of serving God, totally and unequivocally. The 12 x 12 contains the instruction, 'Just resign from the debating society'. Once Step Three has been taken, these questions are settled in perpetuity.
My speculations about my sponsor's thoughts, feelings, and internal world are out of bounds and none of my business, particularly with regard to me. They are not a topic for conversation with my sponsor. What he shares with me is at his behest and discretion.
The same goes for my thoughts and feelings about my sponsor, positive and negative. They're probably unnecessary even for me, and certainly inappropriate subject matter for the relationship. Whatever I wouldn't (wisely) say to a policeman, border immigration officer, or high court judge, I don't say to a sponsor.
When I feel negative feelings, I use the various solutions on pages 84 to 88 to resolve these and do inventory and pray before discussing. I don't leak, spray, pump, or aerial-bomb them in unprocessed form into the relationship with my sponsor. There may be cause to discuss these, but only once I've done my homework.
I think before I react. When my sponsor gives me a suggestion or input, unless a question is asked, my response is 'Thank you', a thumbs up, something similar or just quietly taking the suggestion or input on board. If I need time to think, I say I will take time to think. If I feel the desire to react, I stuff it and consider the question quietly on my own after the phone call or interaction. If a response is necessary, it'll still be necessary in a few hours or a day or so, so I consider what question I have (if any), by taking it to the materials and principles of the programme rather than just digging myself in further or randomly shooting about my ego like a ball in a pinball machine.
I avoid justification, defence, explanation, and (the expression of past or present) intentions (JEDI mind tricks).
When I stick to the above, the relationship with my sponsor is effective, cordial, and boundaried.