Before consulting an advisor (e.g. a sponsor), it's a good idea to prepare.
# Set out the situation
Who is involved? What are their roles? What are the relationships between the individuals? What is the background, scenario, or setting? What happened, in the order things happened? Who said and did what? What is the situation presenting itself? Is there a problem? What is the problem?
# Where the questioner comes in
Am I called upon to respond? Why? What is my motivation in responding? Might it be left to someone else? Might it be left altogether? What if I did nothing? Have I first eliminated my resentment or fear? [Note that, without detachment, bad decisions tend to be made.]
# Preparing the response
What are the possible responses? What are the pros and cons of each response? Which spiritual principles apply? Which Steps apply? Which Traditions apply? Which Concepts apply? Which Al-Anon principles apply? What other relevant knowledge or experience do I have to inform the response?
# Other consultation
Have I consulted God? Have I consulted others involved in the situation, where appropriate? Have I consulted others potentially affected by the course of action? Have I consulted friends or other confidants? What does my instinct say?
# Doubt
Most people, in most situations, know precisely what to do. Doubt is rare. Hesitation is common, because what is right often involves short-term pain over long-term gain, effort, forbearance, or other virtues. If there is doubt or hesitation, why?
# Formulation of a question
The above process usually resolves most situations. When formulating a question, it is usually a good idea to demonstrate that one has 'done one's homework' (as set out above), to set out the options plus pros and cons, and to disclose why there is doubt. This forms a good basis for a discussion.